From: Ken Kubey Date: Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:18:35 -0800 Subject: [BARGE] QB's 2012 EMBARGO Trip Report My first EMBARGO. "Organized chaos." Thursday, January 26th. ---------------------------- Took the 32 bus for $1.25 to the Santa Clara Transit Center. Bumpy tour of Santa Clara County. Now I need to find the 10 bus. It's about 40 feet away. It goes to the airport. Free? Really? Meet up with long-time TARGET and BARGE pal Steve Watanabe at SJC. Turns out we both share the same great quest... to get chips from the 1993 BARGE chip set. Roy? Zimmers? Anyone? Easy flight to Vegas. We chop a cab to the Imperial Palace. Rush hour traffic nails us for a couple extra bucks. Go to check in. About 60 people are in the Disneyland type line. Steve only needs to pick up a room key and with my blessing, he goes to a three person line for that. 20 minutes later I'm in my room. Hundred bucks for three nights on the strip. Other than a small TV, the room is pretty nice. Step up from the 4 Queens, Fitz, etc. No Sandi this weekend as she has a baby shower on Saturday and $50 in free slot play *and* free bus rides to Redhawk planned for Thursday and Sunday. We are texting all weekend and she sends me cell phone pics of some nice slot jackpots. 100+ texts. Maybe two actual calls. Get a foot long hot dog for $1.99 at one of the casinos between the IP and Venetian. Skinniest dog ever. Reasonable for $2. Pick up a $1 margarita and head to the Venetian to find everybody. Take a pic of drunken/passed out Mario Brothers on sidewalk. I take the hilly moving sidewalk into the shops and casino. Poker room. Hug from Kevan's mom. Talk with Kevan and learn that he played in his first SENIOR event. Gosh, it was just 17 years ago that we were shooting craps and betting the hardway-six because we were both 33 years old. Holy crap! We'll be betting Yo 'lev in 2027! Say hi to Betty, Patrick, Mary, Kyle, Oliver, some tiltboys and many others. Talk with Spencer Sun for about five minutes. The next day, I figure out that I had really been talking with Spencer 2.0, Kenny Shei. I'm not kidding about this. Someone remind me that Spencer wears glasses. PLO8 tournament at 8:00 p.m. Around the table... Mickdog, Nolan (Dalla), Chelle, Lennie, Monte, QB, Dan and Joe. Monte is drinking Newcastle beers as fast as they can bring them. I can't keep up with 7&7's, but try. Monte calls himself a fictional player. Dan wants to invent a random game generator. Oh, you want some poker hands? I put in a huge raise with some cheese like A24Ks. Limper Monte thinks for quite a while and jams with 3356s. Really? Flop is about A-J-4. Turn is about a 7 giving Monte half the pot. River 6 gives him the other half as well. I'm left with one 100 chip with the blinds at 100-200. This is not good. Un looks to be a lock for the ADB last-longer bet. Somehow I build back to about 2600. Un and I chop the last-longer as he has the exact same stack. Nick puts in a big raise. I find AJ74 double suited in the BB and jam. Nick calls with some nice hand. AK35 or something. I flop the jack to take a lead. He hits broadway to bust me. Sorry to see nice guy David Low bubble. Darn it. Which two players are heads up for the trophy? Nick Christenson and Monte Christensen. This site is *so* rigged. Highly buzzed Monte wins in. Monte's bit is not an act. But he can still play some pretty strong poker while very legally drunk. I think he had 20 beers. Maybe more. V probably had to reorder. Organizer Nick takes 2nd. Event organizers rarely win big money in ARG tournaments, so 2nd place for Nick is great. Everyone is happy for him. I finally get into the 4-8 Dealer's Choice game around 3:00 a.m. Lose $60 instantly when my great hands on two boards turn to dust when the boards switch polarity on the river. Dean Kerl is wearing a nice bowling shirt with the name "Dick" on it. Funny. Then I learn his wife, Becca bought it for him. Hilarious. At some point, fellow Cal fanatic, James Hammer says: "I have Scrotum on my mind." 69-59. Go Bears! I continue to lose. Cue the violin music. Out of nowhere, Peter says "And now... the Larch." I tip him a buck. I tell him about the World Hide-and-Go-Seek championships which is my favorite Monty Python bit. At some point, Peter gives me the chip back. It becomes "The Larch chip." I get murdered playing Murder and lose The Larch chip and all of his friends. Busto at 5:30 a.m. Hmm... Subway sandwich sounds good. $10? Really? Maybe not. Play a Yahtzee slot. Nail a Yahtzee in 6's for $20. Take my $17 profit to Subway. Temporarily closed. Pick up two $1 Sausage McMuffins and eat them on the hike back to the IP. Couple of guys yell "McDonald's! Hell yeah!" or something like that. I love Vegas. Get to elevators at IP. Like seven people standing there waiting for the elevator. I make the advanced play of pushing the "Up" button. Ding! A couple of people thank me. Friday, January 27th. ---------------------------- Get a great four hours of sleep. Two McDoubles on way to Venetian. I sit outside and toss some crumbs to a bird near my table. Suddenly I have about six cute little birds on my table. Take a cell phone pic and send it to Sandi. "Angry birds at McDonald's." She texts back "Hungry birds, not angry." Nice one! Check the pics on facebook. Find the super secret poker room entrance. Would it kill these guys to put *any* sign on the street or near those three doors that says something like, oh, I don't know, "CASINO"? I mention this to two employees. Smart money says nothing will be done. Play a Rock 'n Roll Super Re-spin slot. Get a whole bunch of speakers and wilds lined up. Win $15. Rich Strauss and I get into a 4-8 hold'em game. What a simple game. Win $37 and move to a 4-8 Omaha-8 game. Bitter old rocks. Well, maybe not rocks. Timmer calls the something like "Timid Unimaginative Retired Dudes" I know I got the starting letters right. Older guy next to me mentions all his brothers and that someone had to be the good-looking one. I came back with "So which one is that?" We have a good laugh. I have a note about "K8." Maybe I'll remember what that means in years to come. Another $15 in pure profit from ring games. Dinner at Noodle Asia about a hundred feet from the poker room. Usual suspects. Rich, Adam, Bob O and Nick. Oh. Bob Ogus and Jeff Seigal met and neither seemed to know the other. I bet they've been to 8 or 10 BARGEs together. Amazing. Anyway, usual nerd discussion about punch cards and hard-wired stuff and 64k of memory, etc. Also sports talk, poker talk. Said hi to Russ Fox at another table. We compared scars. Food was very good. About $25 a man. Easily more than I spent on food the entire rest of the trip. Around here made a bet on the NY Giants to hedge a previous bet Sandi and I made back on January 1st. Heldar and I discuss sports betting. He tells me he's 4 for 5 on sports bets lifetime. But wait! He didn't get the one losing bet placed. 4 for 4 in my book. Time for the Dealer's Choice tournament. There were about 45 games in the nice rule books. I assume Patrick's doing. If so, great work Patrick. Jeff Deitch mentions that he is going for "Back to back plaques." Around the table: Alex Z, Nick, Bruce Hayek, QB, Eric, Karina, Chuck H and Doug G. Karina is a friend of Jeanne's. I think I overheard that she works at Walmart (I swear.) Later learn that she is really pro-player Karina Jett. We play E, Lazy P, Stud'em, Murder, Fortuitous, Lowball (my pick), etc. Nick loves to discuss Murder. I hope he didn't get tired of me saying that I think Murder is the most interesting game I've ever played. BTW, I know it's a little noisy at the V, but we need a lot more clapping for busted players at EMBARGO. The song "Two of Hearts" is audible in the tournament area. Playing Courcheval, dealer Brian puts up the eight of hearts and says "Eight of hearts actually." I toss him a dollar immediately. Note says: Hi-lo game. Miranda Ac8c, me AxQc. Flop Xc-Xc-Xc. I should have know I was screwed when he checked the flop to me. River 3 gave me part of the pot. Maybe half. Oh, I think we got a private river card maybe. Karina busted out and did a nice little curtsey like the female players do at Wimbledon. Cute. Later we are playing 2-5 I think. I have KKKA6 in hand and am all-in in a big pot. Bruce sees my hand and the sweet river King! Four of a kind! Locks up the main pot for me. Still action for the side pot. Rich Bremer wins the side with (drumroll) AAA6X. I was drawing to one out. Wow. Rich wasn't happy as expected. I reminded him that he used up a lot of luck to become BARGE champion last year. That seemed to lift his spirits some. Players are dropping. Seven spots pay. Maybe eight with a save. We are down to 16. 13. 11. Patti and I have similar stacks and chop the ADB last longer. Where is Sonia, my lucky waitress? On a break I learn later. Have a tough call against Bob O when I have 23-8JJ in E vs. his 4-5-6 showing. I fold. He told me he had the straight in 5. Great fold QB. Getting low on chips now. Still playing E. 77-2 and the bring-in. I have 2500. I can come in small for 500 or big for 1500. 1500. Folded to Mickdog showing an ace. He says something like "I have to do this." and puts me all-in. He could easily have just a low draw. Even if he has AA, I have lots of ways to win half or scoop. A4-A. Yup. I make two pair. Mickdog catches my 7. I'm ahead going to the river and will very likely make the money as long as he... River 4 for Mickdog. I'm busted and just sick. Not many nicer guys to lose to though. Talking with Josh about a hand we played at BARGE about 8 years ago and that later I was busted by Fich. Turn around, there is Fich! He's deep in a conversation. We do a quick fist bump. Only time I saw him all weekend. I buy a lucky quarter from Josh for 27 cents. Patti then busts him to win the ADB/Tiltboy last-longer bet. Yay Patti. Said hi to Carol too. Another cameo appearance. I stick around to watch the rest of the tournament. The whole final table was chock full of friends. I can't remember everyone. I didn't write the names down. I'll try. Chuck H, Patti, Bob O, Masa, Jeff D., Ice, Mickdog, Josh Paley. I think that was the final 8. I could look up the results, but that would be cheating. Josh was low and was hoping to outlast the other short-stack, Mickdog. Was happy to see Masa finish strong. 5th? Jeff bubbled the plaques in 4th. Patti was a favorite, but faded to third. Ice 2nd. Michael "mickdog" Patterson 1st. He thanked me for the sweat. Hmm... organizer Nick busts me, finishes 2nd. Organizer Mickdog busts me, wins it. QB brain sees the grand design. Bree will obviously win the main event tomorrow-I-mean-later-today. 3:10 a.m. Nick, with a wonderful 2nd place finish will be a laughingstock. Well, he will at least get a lot of good-natured ribbing. Nick, I was very happy to see you do so well. Really. Same for Mickdog and B^H^H. Sorry. Not there yet. McDonald's for Sausage Biscuits, and two apple pies. Saving pies for breakfast in four hours. Saturday, January 28th. ---------------------------- Attempt to get a wake-up call for 10 a.m. before crashing at 6:00 a.m. Apparently, I failed as the phone had not rung by 10:02. Sorry I missed the breakfast at The Egg & I. I needed the extra two hours of sleep very badly. Patrick, thanks for offering a ride. Shower. Shave. ADB hat. GamboMouse. BARGE dice. Eat the pies. Rock 'n roll. Grab a $1 margarita. Need to check-in for my Southwest Airlines flight less than 24 hours away. The earlier you check-in on the net, the better boarding slot you get. See Russ Fox. Not only does he have internet access on his phone, he already has the Southwest Airlines app loaded. Two minutes later I'm all set with B7 boarding position. Thanks Russ. UnPool. Plan was to pick all ADBs and Tiltboys. I throw in Bree Goldman, Jeff Deitch and finally Corey. Corey was typing in my picks. Another of my favorite guys. I know I say that about everyone, but it's pretty much true. 11:00 a.m. World Chowaha Championship. Around the table: QB, Larry B., Grizz, Prock (damn it), Ben, Joe, Patrick, Bob O, Masa. Man, those last 5 guys were playing tight. Rodney is wandering around. Hi Rodney. TARGET vet Keith T. took a pic of GamboMouse. I smiled, but I don't think my face is in the picture. Keith told me he bet on the mouse in the UnPool. I think he meant the stuffed animal, not me. Good freakin' decision if true. I finally get to use the "Nolan, you're not going to like this." line as I ask him for $10 from the PLO8 ADB last longer. Un, I owe you $4. Talk with Mike and Connie about how much they like Vegas. Oh, except for electric bills. Grizz has a small box wrench as a card protector. I ask why. Something like "If someone else has the nuts, I need to work on them." He had another funny line about it later. "Turning the nuts." maybe? I knock out Grizz and he gives me a bust out prize of a package of raw bacon from Wisconsin. Grizz is another TARGET player and great guy and friend. Do I really need to say this about everyone? Every time I raise, Prock makes in three bets. I completely miss the flops and fold to his auto bet. How can I miss three flops? If I miss, how can he not have anything? Turns out he had almost nothing every time. Oh well. I kept planning to check-raise if I have anything at all. QQ in SB. Folded to me. Argh. I raise. Larry makes it three bets. Geez Louise. Larry is another good guy and good player. This is not a Prock three-bet. I call. Please put a queen out there. Airball. Pot is 900. Larry can only bet 150. I think I can peel one off. Turn QUEEN! Finally. We get it all in. Larry had KK and flopped a king. Set over set. Aloha means goodbye. D'oh! Left my bust out gift in the room. Grizz, I just couldn't stand the idea of rotting bacon in my suitcase for what would have been six hours. At someone's suggestion, I donated the bacon to my pal, Dan Goldman (shut up already QB). He seemed genuinely pleased. Go to the room to get the 50 cent shot glass with LED random die. See the red envelope Sandi have given me for luck. Hey, time to put that lucky $5 in my wallet. Get back about 30 minutes later. Larry is out. I'll get one to you at BARGE Larry. All of the tiltboys are out? Already? Patti hands me like $17. Yay. Somewhere around here Dan G. makes a really nasty remark. I start pointing and saying "Chat ban! Chat ban!" Dan covers his mouth. I change my ruling and let Dan off with a warning. He bows in approval. I get in a 4-8 Dealer's Choice game. Excellent idea to have the EMBARGO reindeer games in the tournament area. Much more fun when we are all together. There is no chance that I will remember everyone in the game as I played from about 1:30 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. John Llyod suggests I try a Lemon drop. Sure. Pretty good. Sugar around the glass rim makes it. John's another good guy and one of the few TARGET regulars who will actually drink. Oh, in case you are wondering, yes, I'm planning to run TARGET sometime during the WSOP this year. I buy 200 $1 chips to build a chip structure. I lose $40 in four nanseconds and another $40 in the next hour. Down comes the structure. Saddenz. Okay. I see the problem. I've been drinking 7&7s as outlined in the script. During 5 hours of play in the DC tournament, I had (are you sitting down Mom?) FIFTEEN 7&7s. At Binion's, I would have been in Monteland, unconscious or dead. At the V. Hardly a buzz. I switch to Long Island Iced Teas. For you non-drinkers, that's rum, vodka, gin, tequila, more rum, sweet and sour and Coke. Rookie drinkers, one of these will kick your ass. Seriously. After a couple, I'm in the zone. Finally win a good pot. Then the one that really got the ball rolling... Becca, stop reading here. AQo in the BB and I get to call hold'em. 4 or so players. Flop A-T-2. Nice. I bet, Becca and Keith call. I'm a little worried Becca may have AT. Turn Q. Fire out $8 like I don't care. Becca calls. Keith is thinking as the dealer burns and starts to deal the river. He fires in the 8 chips just in time. River Qc. I bet, call, call. "If this loses, I quit." roll over full boat. Becca sighs and tosses her 22 face up. Flopped set loses runner-runner. Keith had a black A4. I think he hit a flush. Maybe just calling the drunk guy. At some point, Becca left to put on (I think she said sexier clothes). I don't think anyone left the table until she got back. She had a sexier top on, but it was buttoned up way too high. After many hours and some tips from other players she was down two more buttons. Much sexier, but still not way too revealing. Becca is pretty new to BARGE stuff, but she fits right in. Some good player to my left leaves. I can't recall who. Corey? I tell him anyone will be easier to beat. Down sits Nolan Hee. Rewind a couple of days. I come up behind Mr. Hee and see he is dealt 9988 in Oklahoma. I whisper raise. Duh, he raises. BTW, a lot of players would fold 9988 in Oklahoma. Few would raise, but that's how this guy plays. River 9 makes him FOUR nines and he wins a monster pot. Oh boy. Kirk O. on my right. Nolan on my left. This is going to be an action game now! Okay, Drunk Guy (that's me kids) is back ahead now. Good part about being drunk is you get tons of action. Downside is notes I take get very hard to read. Someone said: "Behave like it was Dick's all-in." "You're the Dude, Kubey, the table." "Worst possible yo6dy5." yobdys? I have no idea. Waitress to me: "You want another Long Island?" QB: "If I can speak, keep bringin' 'em." Lennie: "I want something minty in my mouth." Oh right, in a salute to Mark S., Lennie and I have Rumplemintz. In past years, we did shots of this stuff. This time, it was on the rocks and it was awful. But minty! Lennie ordering some other drink: "I want something slimy in my mouth." Oh, meanwhile, back at the tournament table... I walk by Bree and mention "Organizer trifecta." She smiles. Jeff D. busts in 8th. Three days, three final tables. R00LING. I have three horses left when they get down to 4-handed play. Someone busts the guy I don't know well. It is down to Un, Peter and Bree. I go up to each one and whisper to them that I have them in the pool. I shake Peter's hand as he goes out in 3rd. Great job Peter. I will win a little more if Un wins, but I just have to root for Bree. Poker Gods are all over this. Well, Bree can play some poker too. She wins it! I giver her a big high five. Shake Un's hand too. Later I'm talking to Bree and learn how old she is. My guess was 28. I think that made her day almost as much as winning the tournament. I bet she still gets carded sometimes. Back to the game. More Murder. I don't want to even try to explain this game except that at the end, you have four cards in your own hand and 16 cards in the middle of the table in four rows. Dealers and expert players have a hard time figuring out what they have and what hand wins. Amazingly, even when 100% drunk, I can still read these boards as well or better that other players. Couldn't walk a straight line, but I could still play poker. I got into some monsterous pot with A24X. At the river, it was clear that I had the high side of the pot won with a straight, but it took the dealer and several of us about a minute to be sure that I also won the low side with A2346. The other player had a very good low but no 4, so I had the best. Tiltboys Lennie and Bruce were in the game. Oh, Kirk, if you are reading this, please accept my apology for asking you what game we were playing about 30 times. Often on consecutive hands of the same game. Rewind two days. Saw Kirk with a tower of chips and a big pile of chips he still had to stack. I told him he needed to win two more racks. Apparently he *did*. I think he won more than 2nd place in the PLO8. Oh Perry was there too! We had fun using the die shot glass to bet $1 on a roll. Shot glass ended up with Peter Secor. Gosh, I think he paid me $2 for it. Peter is awesome. Oh, Bob O. sold me a really nice Deep Stack card protector. I gave it to Sandi and she really likes it. Normally, I stack my chips in perfect 20-high columns and arrange the stacks in a wedge. On this night, my chips were in a big, messy pile. Bruce played well. I slow down on the drinking after about 11:00 p.m. Around 1:00 a.m., I was starting to fade. Why in the world did I book a 8:40 a.m. flight? Probably to save $10. Moron. Racked up my chips. $360. Ahead $160. I R00L. Say so long to everyone. Big hug from Betty. Many handshakes and fist-bumps. Gonna guess 5 or 6 Long Islands over eight hours. McDonald's one last time. Idiot drunk white college guys behind me want burgers. I tell them they are only serving breakfast now. Idiot gets to the front and yells at the poor guy behind the counter. I didn't stick around to see the outcome. Sausage McMuffin, carmel apple parfait thing. Two apple pies in reserve for 6:00 a.m. Walking and eating. Guys outside IP: "Yay McDonald's!" Drink a lot of water. Get a wake up call. Instasleep. Sunday, January 29th. ---------------------------- Wake up call. I feel a little shaky, but not too bad considering. Gather up all my crap. Hope I didn't forget anything. Cab to the airport. Check one bag. Keep laptop bag with me. I'm there way too early. Oh crap, left my iPod touch in the checked bag. Gosh I hope I zipped up my bag well. Did I pack my shaver? Shaving kit? OMG, did I pack GamboMouse? Hour to kill. No free internet? You bastards. Are there any games on my laptop? Solitaire! Yes! Flight was fine, but take off and landing were both bumpy. Interestingly, the captain never spoke to us. Just the first officer. Captain was probably embarrassed. Sandi is at Redhawk about the time I land. I'm getting pics of slot jackpots. Lady next to her won $2500 on a $2 bet. Now I need to get to the Light Rail system. No 32 bus on Sunday. Google says I need to walk a mile from the airport. I ask information people. 10 bus to Light Rail station. Ding! Oh, let me get my iPod touch. Shaving kit is there. Good. I'm hunting for $6 GamboMouse and $200 iPod Touch. Which would I be more upset to lose? Close call. There's Gambo. There's the iPod. Ding! Ding! 10 bus to Metro stop. I pester this poor guy with questions. He's really nice. Helps me buy my ticket, tells me which train to take, etc. $2 for the train. Train ride is slow and smooth. Just 19 stops to Sunnyvale. Now I have to walk a mile home. The weather is perfect. Like 68 with a little breeze. It is very quiet out. Sunday. I'm texting Sandi with progress. I get more slot reports. Get home at 12 noon. What a trip. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks to the Venetian for hosting EMBARGO and for doing such a great job running all of our wacky tournaments and ring games. Thanks of course to Nick, Mickdog and Bree for putting on a great event. Glad their hard work (and good poker play) was rewarded. Patrick's badges were first class as usual. Thanks! I can pay no bigger compliment to EMBARGO other than to say it felt a lot like BARGE. If you are on the fence, come on out to EMBARGO next year. Oh, and if you had fun at EMBARGO, just wait until you go to BARGE! -- Ken Kubey kenkubey@gmail.com