Date: Wed, 07 Aug 2013 14:45:41 -0700 From: "David S. Heller" Subject: Re: [BARGE] BARGE 2013 I cannot compete with either the amazing detail, the sexual innuendo, or the fabulous drunken exploits of some of my fellow BARGErs, but Organizers have often told me the way they get paid is via trip reports, and I do try to pay my bills. So here it is. Flew in on Tuesday via Alaska. Flight was no big deal. Somewhat bumpy coming into Vegas, which is not unusual. Updrafts I suppose, rising from that hot desert floor. I had agreed to give Chris J. a ride. I called him when I landed and he said he'd meet me at the bottom of the escalator that goes down to baggage claim. Now I'm not an expert on the Vegas airport, and I'm just a simple country lawyer, but it did occur to me that a complex that large might have more than one escalator that "goes down to baggage claim". So when I got to the bottom of some random escalator that went down to baggage claim, I called him and gave him the number of the baggage carousel I was near. This concept initially seemed a bit foreign to him, but eventually he caught on to the fact that he was not only at the wrong carousel, but in the wrong building. So I said "just meeting me at the National car rental counter". That worked. He even got there ahead of me. We got my car, a Toyota Yaris (what the heck is a "Yaris" anyway). I was hoping it would be flying a Jolly Roger, but no such luck. It came with no maps, no return directions, and no "remote". It did have a key stuck in the door. It got decent gas mileage, and I only had to feed the squirrel once during my sojourn in Vegas. We were both staying at Main Street, which was convenient. We both hit the checkin counter and in seconds Chris was on his way to his room. IN A HARBINGER OF THINGS TO COME, my room wasn't ready yet. They gave me a bunch of coupons for free breakfast or lunch at their buffet, but only good Monday through Thursday. Now it's already Tuesday afternoon, so I have to use all these coupons Wednesday or Thursday, and I have CHORSE on Thursday. So this isn't looking like a +EV set of coupons. But I will try. I parked my luggage with the Bell Person and headed over to Binions to get my badge and see my friends. It seems like my arrival at BARGE is stuck in a time loop. Every year I walk into the Binions poker room when I first arrive at BARGE, and very year I find Russ Fox and JP Massar playing Chinese poker - though this year it was "face up". I sat a while and watched them, trying to understand why they did what they did. My one new insight is that Openface Chinese is like hold'em in one regard - you don't need a good card memory because you can see everything. Eventually the group went over to Tony Roma's, where I did not have any ribs. The fish was decent. Wednesday morning was the Egg & I. To those who wouldn't show up because it wasn't free - shame on you. I go to the Egg & I for the company I can afford to pay for my own breakfast. Besides, it turned out it *was* free. :-) Seems Bob O, the Forrest Gump of BARGE, had had yet another of his wonderful adventures, and this time he kicked some major poker butt and shared his success with a dozen of his closest friends. Thanks, Bob!! Off to the Blackjack tournament. My table was even tougher this year than last year This tournament is getting harder every year. Anyway, I was within striking distance on the last hand and I went all in, but busted. Congrats to the every-dangerous Gillian, who won our table. After that I played some 3-6 holdem, got crappy cards, and lost. I need to re-read some of my books on low-limit holdem. But it doesn't help my feeble skills any when I am card dead. The entire week of BARGE, through I don't know how many hours of poker, the largest pair I ever got was JJ and that was in Chowaha on Saturday night. No AA, no KK, no QQ. Eventually I went over to Main Street with a book. I used one of my coupons and I ate and read and ate and read and read and read. When they started closing up around me, I went back to Bininon's for some more poker. One delightful moment: There were a bunch of BARGErs at my 3-6 hold'em table and at some point someone (Brenda? not sure) asked where all the sunglasses were. Immediately about 7 people whipped out sunglasses and put them on and played the next hand that way. The game was fun even though I wasn't doing too well - so much fun that I had intended to go to the Mirage on Wednesday night, and I wound up staying downtown and spewing chips instead. Thursday morning was CHORSE. I got defaulted into being captain this year because Zbigniew decided to no show BARGE. We had our customary power breakfast at Binion's coffee shop and I collected our $80 apiece buyins, and then proceeded over to the tournament area. You know all those big cards I wasn't getting in 3-6 holdem? I got some of them in razz. Every hand I did make lost to a slightly better one. Playing 5-handed razz, you would think 75 would be a good hand. But nooooooooo. I got 6'ed twice. Eventually I busted out in the last round, but fortunately some of my teammates had chips so we were still in the game, but we were pretty far down. CHORSE went an extra round this year for the first time. The last unexpected round one of our teammates had to leave, so Howler moved over to Omaha. Our other teammates suddenly went to the bathroom, or something, so I found myself sitting down to play Crazy Pineapple. I have never played Crazy Pineapple in my life. Kenny Shei was raising every hand, and I had good reason to fold most of them, but I did play two hands. One had a pair of 8s, which I figured might be a good hand *if* the flop was high, which it was. There was much checking, and with a bunch of overcards on board I checked along. Eventually my 88 won the pot. The other hand was hilarious in a sick sort of a way, and I think the only really good luck I had all week. I had Qc4s3c in the big blind, and for some reason Kenny didn't raise this time so I get a free peek. The flop is 9TJ with 2 clubs. There is a bet and many calls. I keep the Q for the open-ended straight draw, and I toss the 4 and keep the 3c so if there's runner runner clubs I would have the un-nut flush. I can't remember the turn, but it wasn't a club and it didn't help my straight. But nobody bet, so I stuck around. River is a 3. 5 overcards to my micropair, I'm not betting. Checked around again. I win the pot with 33. Woo hoo! Meanwhile over at Omaha, Howler has made a straight flush and cleaned out QB. Between my stumbling into chips and Howler's crushing hand, Team MPN comes from behind to stomp Team Sleeping In. Our take is $3. Total. As in, 50 cents apiece. Over the next couple of days I track down my teammates and give them their $80.50. Except for Andrew Prock. You remember that team power breakfast where I collected the $80 buyins? Andrew didn't have it on him, and was asking where the casino ATM was. I said "Don't pay their outrageous ATM fees. I'll put in the $80 for you, you can pay me later, I know where you live, I know where your child lives". So during a lull in the Saturday Main Event, I scurry over to Andrew's table with 2 quarters in my hand. I drop them in his. He says "What's this?" I go all "Casablanca" croupier and say "Your CHORSE winnings, suh!" Anyway, back to Thursday. After CHORSE I have these Main Street coupons burning a hole in my pocket, and this is my last chance to use any of them, so I gather up JP and Fold'em and we go over to Main Street buffet on my coupons. While there gathering up food, we run into Ice, who joins our table for some excellent conversation. If you ask the right question, you can always learn something from Ice - this time it was about the horrific gerrymandering used against a very early Socialist congressman in the early 1910's. To be continued...