From: Ken Kubey Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2011 00:38:31 -0700 (PST) Subject: [BARGE] QB's 2011 BARGE Trip Report The story of my sixteenth BARGE. "The Unified BARGE Theory." Sandi and Kristina will be flying down Thursday night. I'm driving down solo again and taking most of their luggage. Tuesday, August 2nd. ----------------------- I want to leave at 10:00 p.m. I tell Sandi to have all of her stuff packed so I can leave at 8:00 p.m. My drop-dead time to leave is 10:45. I'm on the road promptly at 11:36 p.m. Gambomouse is my co-pilot. He's a good passenger. I have some back pain, but not as many ailments as last year. GPS says I will reach the Egg & I at 8:20 a.m. Factoring in gas stop and food stop, this is a very tight schedule. New this year... glasses! I don't have to wear them to drive, but they change everything from regular to high-def. Fogarty song "Centerfield" comes on just before midnight. "Put me in coach... I'm ready to play... today..." Wednesday, August 3rd ----------------------- Midnight. "Highway to Hell" comes on. QB's #1 BARGE song. Next song is by the Doors... "Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel." I-5/Hwy 46 interchange. Gas and bathroom break. Pump #7! Lucky! Wasco Jack in the Box for Big Cheeseburger and two tacos. Bill is $2.45. Change from a $10 bill is $7.55. 7 and Presto! I am clearly on a roll already. Again blasting rock 'n roll and cruising along in a Crown Victoria. Wanted to rent an Impala, but they were out so I got a free "upgrade" to this cop car boat. I'm working on The Unified BARGE Theory as I'm driving. I'll get back to that at the end of the report. To avoid having to change my trip report, I again go to the rest stop at Boron. Text Sandi that the mice are taking a nap. 30-minute nap helps a lot. Barstow, Baker, Primm. Pull into the Palace Station at 8:40 a.m. to change shirts and wash up. --- Get to the Egg & I right at 9:00 a.m. Said hi to about eight people at one table. I think Mark Trombley and Barry Kornspan were at that table. Sit with Merlynn, Brett and Ice. Bacon and avocado omelette is great. We all had some free muffinish thing that was really good. Brett tells me about his plan to try playing real golf after doing well playing only Wii golf. I know he is only half-serious, but I'm still shaking my head over that one. I learn about how Merlynn and Brett got into BARGE through a poker study group with Oz. Ice explains a new game people are playing. Binglobah. Sounds like fun. Get pins from Patrick. --- Head down the street to a Rebel gas station. Again pump #7! Now I have a couple of hours to kill before checking in at the Four Queens so I go to the Pinball Hall of Fame at 10:40. They open at 11. Doh. Rest my eyes and go in at 11. Play lots of old pinball games. Kiss, Fire Power, Superman, etc. Many video games also. Defender, Robotron, Asteroids, Missle Command, Gorf, etc. Gorf cracks me up when it says "Bad move, space cadet." --- Four Queens self park. I have my bags, golf clubs, laptop and a ton of stuff from Sandi and Kris. I drop two bags in the room. I figure at least four more trips to get all the stuff from the car to the room. Luckily I run into Rich Strauss and he volunteers to help. Yay! Drop by Binion's to pick up my badge and say hi to people. I'm fading fast now. Go to the room. Get a 6:30 p.m. wake-up call. Take one of the great naps of modern times. --- Over to Binion's for The Lowball tournament. Run into Monte and Steve W. Monte has had something like 10 beers and is just a crack-up. Russ Fox gets us to all sign a deck of cards for Peter Secor. Oh yeah. Peter was quite ill earlier this year and has decided to step down as an organizer. Thank goodness Peter is doing much better now. I'm sure he'll be carousing at BARGE for many, many years to come. Lowball. Chic is nearby and plays one hand with his shirt covering his head. What a nutcase. I played poorly and made a terrible blunder attempting to fold to a call. Hey, I haven't played a hand of poker in two full months. I go out on the last hand before the break in a three-way jam-up with Steve Clayton and Bob Irons. I bet my last 200 on my pat 9 into their one-card draws. Steve made a 7 for the main. Bob made an 8 for the side. I give Bob the "I Busted an ADB" wristband (Thanks Patti). I'm tired and don't feel that good. Have a pastrami on sourdough at the snack bar. Sourdough was a minor mistake. Rye is better. --- Get in a dealer's choice game. Steve Diano is sitting next to me. He's not a BARGEr yet, but after playing with us, he's interested. Someone is explaining the rules to a new game. Steve says "I object to the term 'regular four card Chowaha'" Cracks us up. After playing Chowaha and Oklahoma, someone calls a more normal game. I say "How do you make a hand with only one board?" JZK tells me some of the Full Tilt horror stories. Amazing stuff. Much worse than I thought. I post a $40 win and feel better. I get to bed at about 1:30 a.m. and ask for a wake-up call for 4:45 a.m. 4:45 a.m.? Why? Thursday, August 4th ---------------------- The Death March (BARGE golf outing). Stumble over to Binion's at 5:10 a.m. See David Aronson. Good to see that he is not dead as was incorrectly reported on the BARGE e-mail list. Kevan, Gerry and Deron show up with the cars and off we go to the Paiute Snow course. No, I have no idea where it is. Look it up. Beautiful course. I think the prettiest I've played on in Vegas. There are jackrabbits and roadrunners all over the place. I'm in a threesome with Kevan and Gerry. David and Deron are behind us. Oh! That reminds me... I owe someone $2. David? I don't think I've played golf in three years. I went to a driving range the week before BARGE and maybe hit 10 good shots out of 70. Felt good afterwards, but then had a terrible backache the next few days. A bunch on 7&7's cured that. I hit some decent shots and sank a couple of 15-foot puts. I was mostly happy that I didn't hold up the group. Did manage to win one hole. We had a round of bloody Marys around the 8th hole and Kevan bought me a beer later in the round. We had lots of fun ripping on each other and making dumb jokes. Shot 140. Yuck! I'm really glad I signed up for golf this year. I plan to be back. --- CHORSE. Also called C-HORSE. This is a team tournament played with chips that are actually worth money. I'm playing the Razz round (7-card stud, low only). This is just about the most boring poker game there is. Someone (Erin?) orders a bunch of those Crazy Pineapple drinks. Pineapple juice, vodka and Amaretto. Sweet and strong. I'm on team Moosecock. I bought a couple of moose Beanie Babies to be team mascots. Gambomoose? Barbara put one on her head instead of the moose antler hats that we wear. Tanya was playing at my table and just fell in love with the moose Beanie Baby. It does have very soulful eyes for a stuffed animal. North Shore Mike is back at BARGE (where he belongs) and is acting as our non-playing captain. Katie Baxter is at my table. I see "Power of V" on her name tag. I ask about it and she explains that it is "Power of Vagina." I recoil when she says that and a moose falls off of my head. Later I'm talking with Yolanda, Ron Nutt and John Grout. I think I was supposed to remember what we talked about, but it's a blur. Talked to Bryan Micon too. He gets BARGE. Good guy. Someone asks how many more rounds we are playing. Deron says "Two more." Someone else says "This one and one more." Deron dryly says "That would be two." Heh. All week I explained to people that I had the original Gambomouse along on this trip along with one of the 2nd-string mice. I left the third one at home as he was bad luck on at least one trip. Lynsy says something about "Advanced mice strategy." lol. With Harkness still dead and North Shore not playing, we managed to post a small win of $5 per person. So, so good to have North Shore back. To use a hockey term, it feels like our team is back at "Full strength." --- I go for lunch with Ice, Goldie, the Kramers, JP and Tanya to the sports bar place at Main Street. On the way over, I gave Tanya a moose. She was very happy and I saw her with it at the banquet. We share pizzas and bunch of appetizers. I ordered California rolls for the table, but ended eating almost all of them. We had some hot, hot wings. There were lots of good stories. Something about business cards, prison and one of our favorite BARGErs. --- Later, I'm standing around with Murray and Bingo. I won't give you the whole conversation, but at one point, Murray says dreamily to Bingo: "It's you!" We were cracking up. Bingo said he's tried to explain what we do at BARGE to others and that a lot of it is just these dumb little two-minute goofy conversations on the rail or at the tables. --- Off to McCarran to pick up Sandi and Kristina at 6:00 p.m. Sandi has a free night at Bally's, so we go there. Great room. The downside is I know they will hate my so-so room at the Four Queens. We go to Terrible's. We love their restaurant upstairs. The girls have $9.99 prime rib. I have the Deuces Wild breakfast for $2.99. All very good. I drop them back at Bally's and head back downtown for... --- ADB Craps Crawl at 11:00 p.m. I put on my ADB hat and get ready. Bingo forgot his hat? I suggested he FedEx it to BARGE. One table fills up. I'm okay just hanging out nearby talking to Stephen Markowitz, Merlynn and others. Friday, August 5th. -------------------- They open another table for us. Okay. Let's shoot some dice. Doug G., Merlynn, Ryan and Stephen are at one end. I'm on the other side. Stephen hits a big hardway parlay and cashes out a winner. Doug had some nice rolls. Merlynn hit a come-out yo-11 for me to cut my loss from $120 to $70. The other table was rockin' and loud. Apparently there were some big runs. North Shore won $400+. I head over to Main Street to catch up with the rest of the gang. I meet Stephen Wood. I ask him if this is his first BARGE. He whips out a 1993 BARGE trip. Oops. He does tell me that he has missed about 10 BARGEs before this one. Advanced Craps strategy: Doug asks me to guard his chips for a few minutes. Just in time for the cocktail waitress to come around taking orders. R00Ling! Patti tells me about a $1000 Royal that she hit playing VP and that she is now almost even for VP on the trip. Reminder to self. Video Poker is high variance! --- Get to bed around 2:30 a.m. Yeah, yeah. What a wuss. Wake up call for 7:00 a.m. The Fun Run. I'm proud to say that I'm the only BARGEr to pull off the 2011 early morning trifecta... 9:00 a.m. Egg & I. 6:00 a.m. Death March. 7:30 a.m Fun Run. Sleep be damned, this is BARGE. --- Fun Run. Jessica Kuznick, David Lawful, Cliff Mathews, Mickdog, Ron G. and me. Michael Brennan walks up. Ready for the run Michael? No, no, no. But he does take a picture of us. We jog at a very easy pace for two miles. After that, a few of us go one more mile to see where there is a 24 Fitness. Thanks to Ron for organizing the run. I talked to others and we all agreed that we felt better later in the day after the early run. Shower. Eat some snacks. Have to go to Ph (Planet Hollywood, but Kris, Sandi and I called it "Fffffff.") to pick up show tickets. Walk what seems like a mile from the parking garage to the ticket place. Closed? Arrgghh. Have to wait 20 minutes for them to open at 10. Get the tickets and hightail it back to Binion's. --- TOC tournament Only missed 30 minutes or so. Jessica is at my table and is playing tight and solid. Erin is to my right. He and I agree to respect her bets. Oh yeah. Jessica asked if I wanted to go for another run Saturday morning. Three really early mornings were enough for me. Heck, 10:00 a.m. is plenty early. Maybe next year. Stud hand. TT-J and complete. David S. calls. Rich Bremer 3-bets showing a J also. I catch a J and bet out 300. Calls. I think Rich started with AQ-Js and took the pot with AAQQ. Omaha hand. A22Ks and call a EP raise by Karl Kirchoff. 3 of us. Flop is J-9-2. I like it. They check to me. I bet 150 and have just 325 left. Turn is a 3. Karl bets 300. I think he has A45X or so. I put in my last chips. I almost say "I have at least one out." River is an ugly-looking 6. Karl has A33Xs. Doh. Set over set. I'm out. ADB wristband to Karl. --- I'm wandering around watching the TOC. Monte sees me and says I look like I should have a beer football. Monte is a genius. I've wanted to get a beer football at BARGE for years. Howler always looks good holding one. Also, Jeff Deitch suggested on the BARGE list that we get a beer football in memorial to Raiderfan (Dave R.) who passed away this year. Binion's goofy drink counter is closed. So is the one outside the Golden Gate. I ask the GG bartender. Yep, he can do one. $9 for Bud, Bud Light or Pabst Blue Ribbon. More for better beers. If you've ever seen the movie "Blue Velvet," you know the what I had to have. Pabst Blue Ribbon. As I exit the GG, Corey is walking toward me. Shrimp cocktail? Sure. We talk about TARGET and CA housing market, etc. Shrimp cocktail is as good as I remember. We go back to watch more of the TOC. I feel both good and stupid walking around the room with a clear plastic football full of beer. It was a lot of fun and a good conversation starter. Jeff D. approved. Mike Maurer shows me his badge. Table 1 five times? Also, he and Connie have the same seat numbers for the TOC and NL. Weird. Barbara asked "Is that apple juice or beer?" I gave her one of those looks and said "I'm writing you up for that one!" (meaning I wrote her question on the page of notes I take all during BARGE.) What? You think I can remember all of this stuff? I was also helpful to her by eating half of her pastrami sandwich. Thanks! --- The Symposium. Rich, JRX, Jeff S. and I have our usual little syndicate. Jim B. joins us. JZK and MPH are silent partners. Once again, I provided most of the comments on the Calcutta sheet. If you want any of them explained, let me know. I really wanted to buy Steve "Paul the Octopus" Sherman. My comment on the sheet even says "Okay, I gotta buy this guy" I wuss out when the bidding goes a little high. Of course this turns out to be a big mistake as he goes deep. We get some good buys including our favorite horse, Bob Herlien. Adam and Corey bid Rich and me up to $90. Come on guys! Patti and Fich went for $85. We can't be worth $90! We buy our half back. Aaron Lion failed to buy me again. Boo! Un was running his pool in the back of the room. I picked 17 pairs for $1 each and one pair for $2. I hope this extra pool will return in some form next year. Food was pretty good and a free drink. Peter and Nick did a good job as auctioneers. Thanks also to the betting slip runners. --- Meet up with Sandi and Kris. They are both tired. We have a 2-for-1 at a coffee shop. Magnolia's maybe? Get dressed and drive over to Ph for... --- Peep Show starring Playboy's Holly Madison. Interestingly the crowd is almost all couples. If anything, there are more women than men in the audience. Lots of very good singing by women and men on stage. Several good-looking shirtless guys and maybe 12 good-looking women who would sometimes be topless. Parts of the show are based on nursery rhymes. Three Little Pigs, Big Bad Wolf, Little Bo Peep, etc. Get it? Bo Peep? Peep Show? Holly Madison is very cute in-person. Group I body for sure. For non-poker players, "Group I" is AA, KK, QQ, JJ and AKs. --- We played some slots at Ph and then drove over to the Cosmopolitan. Every few minutes one of us would tell the others to "Check out those skanky girls." I think skirts/dresses have gotten as short as they possibly can get. We checked out the Chandelier bar. Really cool. Saturday, August 6th --------------------- The BARGE no-limit event. About 170 players at 18 tables. Around the table... Timmer, Keith Troell, Erin, me, Carol, David Soussan, Rich Bremer, Jessica, Daniel Melbourne. Wait a minute. Most of these same people were in the same seats at the TOC. I hope an investigation has been launched. If this was done on purpose, I think it is a bad idea. I'm guessing someone forgot to reset the random number generator. Dan folds and tips the dealer. What? He's been dealt Jh7c on three consecutive hands! What are the odds? My first rough guess... (52 x 51 / 2) is the number of unique hold'em hands. I round that to 1000. So 1000 x 1000 x 1000. A billion to 1? Next guess... I round (52 x 51 / 2) to 1300. 1300 x 1300 x 1300 is close to 2 billion to 1. Idiot me, I actually say that out loud at the table. No one corrects me. That's way too high, I say to myself. I mean two in a row is not a million to 1. Oh right. The first hand is free. You have to be dealt *some* hand the first time and then match it two times after that. A piddling 1.75 million to 1 shot. Rich Bremer pulls out a calculator and shows us the exact answer. Now the odds of being dealt Jh7c on your *next* three hold'em hands is over 2 billion to 1. A few minutes later, Dan bristles as he looks at his cards. He folds and *shows* us Jh7c. Very weird. Timmer has the Marcel Luske upside-down sunglasses look going. Apparently he did it so he could see below the glasses. David and Erin are in a pot. David checks the flop in the dark. Being a good sport, Erin checks the flop back in the dark. Heh. Around here we break for the BARGE photo in the old Valet area. Thanks Rodney! The first time I jam, it is over the top of Rich Bremer. Guess what? He folds. Carol jams and makes these hand motions towards the pot. I'm confused until she mentions that she will give a shoulder/neck massage as her bust-out gift. Of course. Keith raises. I look down at AA. Jam. He calls with QQ. Perfectly reasonable. River ace for no reason. I'm back in business. Seat 9 is the ejector seat at our table. Ice joins the table. Erin is going all-in every so often and pushes out three little boxes that contain small wine bottles. To save time, he leaves his chips on the boxes and pushes them all out at once. There's some minor complaint and someone suggests we call the floor. Ice pipes up and says "Call the sommelier!" lol. And he was also nice enough to spell it for me. At a break, I need to hit the restroom. I'm kinda speed-walking with knees locked. Davin Soussan is doing the same thing as we racewalk to the restroom. Too funny. Our table finally breaks. I sit down next to JZK. I'm a little worried as he just plain crushed me earlier this year in the Chip Chirp tournaments. Anyway... the stack is dwindling. Decisions are easy now. Jam or fold. Folded to JZK in late position. He puts in a raise. I find 99 and jam for a little more. He calls with AQs. Flop Q-T-X. Turn 8. "Jack!" I say quickly. River K. Awww. I gave JZK a copy of "The TV Cartoon Trivia Book" and an ADB band. I'm out in about 51st place. I enjoy the round of applause. Man, I hate being out. Rich is still in. JZK and Bob Herlien are our last horses. Kevan and Barbara invite me to lunch. We go to the Italian place near the GN pool. As we are walking there, we overhear a couple of guys talking... "Subtract the tail and the horns, that's her." What!? Kevan and I are smiling as we keep walking. At lunch, we trade stories of interesting poker hands and other stuff. Kevan and his mom are the best. I get a cell call from Rich. Something about him owing me a dollar. That can't be good. Yeah, he's out on a bad beat. Darn it. Good to see Nick make the money. JZK makes it to 13th. Now it is up to Bob to save our syndicate. Rich calculates that Bob needs to finish 4th for us to break even. Dave Tahajian was on a roll until Rodney put a bad, bad beat on him making a straight to beat his flopped set of aces. Should have brought the duck! Un starts singing (to the tune of "Candyman") Something like... "Who can take the pot down? The cameraman can." Very clever. Bob went out in 8th, losing a coin flip on the river to Rodney. Rich and I agree that next year we should just buy Bob and not bid on anyone else. --- The Banquet. Rich and Bob are saving me a seat. I see David Soussan. He offers me a seat at his table. I tell him I'm looking for the guys who are saving me a seat. 3/4 jokingly he says: "That's okay Ken. If you don't want to sit with me, it's okay." "No, really they are saving me a seat." We chat for a couple of minutes. David's a good guy. I've known who he is for years, but I think this was the first BARGE where we played at the same table and talked much. Our table: Larry B., Martha, JZK, Martin V., JRX, Rich, Bob and me. Going to the bar to get my two free drinks I see George Wattman. He comes up and gives me one of those side hugs that guys do. I think it was 30% good to see me and 70% wanting to cut the line. All of the roasters of Peter did a good job. Nolan was my favorite. He and I seem to share the same sick sense of humor. Virgin awards were funny. Good job Drew. Really good to see the video spot from Chuck. It made it feel like he was there with us. Nick did a solid job running the show once again. Mori's talk was fine. I especially liked his "I was born and raised in [some place], reraised in [some other place] and check-raised in Las Vegas." Videos were cool. I hope Barry enjoyed the notebook that lots of us wrote notes in to him. That was a great idea. The food was good. I really liked the salad for some reason. The dessert looked too pretty to eat, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Congrats to Bree on her appointment as an organizer. Good move! Nice ovations for Peter. Totally deserved. --- Back downstairs for the reindeer games. Rich Strauss loans me some money so I will have enough chips to build a structure. I get into a $3-$6 Dealer's Choice game with David S., Jeff D., Rebecca, Mike M., Un, Eileen, Janie M. and Bruce. Pick up a few photos Rodney took during the week. Rodney rocks. I was happy to see him go so deep in the no-limit event. Again that cocktail waitress with the short hair misses me. Arrggh. Luckily, I have a "free bar cocktail" coupon that Sandi had earned playing slots. Score the drink at the bar and only miss one hand. Between hands I pick up photos of Kris, Sandi and me with the million dollars. I get up every so often to check on the NL event. Tony keeps grabbing my chair to talk with Bruce. We had some of the prettiest/friendliest dealers I can recall. Anyone else a fan of Stephanie? (the one who could have been Miss Texas). Also the one who was smiling all the time, Fallon. We hear singing from Patti's table every once in a while. Peter also sang a little tune at some point. Somewhere in here Rich Bremer wins the NL event. I go over a couple of minutes later to shake his hand. Rich seemed to be in a good state of shock. Congrats! Oh! And he was one of my picks in the Un pool. Paid $21 on a $1 bet. Score! At 1:22 a.m., people are yelling something about bacon! Patti has gone to the snack bar and ordered a hot dog with *five* side orders of bacon. Patti just effing R00LZ. She hands me a container with the last few pieces which I distribute back at my table. I learn for the 2nd year in a row that Oklahoma was invented at Bruce Kramer's home game. Also played Murder for the first time. That is a really cool game. So much going on. Later we are joined by Todd and Steve (non-Bargers). I build my usual chip structure. Un outdoes me with a bigger structure. He wants to put Gambomouse on top. Luckily I have a spare Gambomouse with me and lend it to Un. I don't remember a lot of hands, but on one I start with KJs. The flop is A-J-4. We all check. Turn is a J. Todd bets, Steve calls, I raise, they call. Oh, in this game we get more down cards at the turn and river. The river is a 10. My down card is the case jack. I bet, Todd starts singing "He's got the jack." I mention AC/DC and he finally makes the crying call allowing be to show my four jacks. Steve Diano calls his invention: Omadugi. Omaha board. Split pot between best Omaha high hand and best 4-card badugi. The extra interesting part is that there is a *draw* after the river. After four days, the waitress with the short hair finally cracks a smile. Yes, anything can happen at BARGE. Book a $70 win. I wander around the poker room and say "so long" to about 60 BARGErs around 3:00 a.m. BTW, great idea to have the BARGE ring games in the tournament area. The games went on stronger and longer then last year. I look around for an open Big 6 Wheel, but can't find one. Saddenz. Get to the room and take off my badge at 3:29 a.m. I'm exhausted. Sunday, August 7th ------------------- We pack up everything, dump it all in the monster car and head over to the GN pool around 10:00 a.m. I get in line for the water slide. Wave to Jessica and David up ahead of me. My first water slide. It was fun and kind of scary at the same time. I relax in the shade while Sandi and Kris lounge in the pool. We have lunch at the Binion's snack bar. Pastrami on rye. Mmm. A few BARGErs are nearby. I remember seeing Kyle, Grizz and Rick for sure. Free cocktails at GN bar thanks to Bob H. Head over to the Rio (Sandi has $5 of free play there.) We are playing a Blazing 7's machine. Luckily it is right near a stage where the cocktail waitresses take turns singing and dancing every few minutes. Wow, they have some cute waitresses. On the road around 4:30 p.m. Traffic. Ugghh. Kris gets us to Barstow. It takes us about four hours, maybe more. It was pretty awful. I drive the rest of the way to Monterey where we drop Kris off. Sandi gets us back to Sunnyvale. My feet are really swollen again. Anyone else have this problem? Gambling... craps: lost small big 6 wheel: DNP. Sorry about this. I promise to play next year. blackjack: DNP because BFB. live poker: won slots: lost tournies: lost, won $5 (CHORSE), lost and lost. roshambo: did not play. I know I left a lot of people out of this report. I try to at least say "hello" to everyone. I know I said "hello" to some people multiple times. Lots of hugs at BARGE this year... Barbara, North Shore, Connie, George, Bingo, Adam, Peter and Merlynn. At least there were a few females in there :-) My new glasses came in handy for driving, golf and the Peep show. I had a fabulous time at BARGE 2011. It is my favorite time of the year. Missed all of my friends who didn't make it this year. A few names... Jacobs, Zimmers, Quick, Bev, Crosons, Marc, Paul, Charles, Lou, Chris, Eric, Scottro, John, Frank, Shari, Murph, Jeff, Tom, Mitch, Garrett, Sam, Oscar, Marlin, Lee, Q, Leslie, James, Bill, Jerrod, Michelle, Bart, Mark, Bob, Dave and Dave. I'm sure there are many more. If you are on the fence, come back to BARGE. You'll love it. Huge thanks to Rich Strauss and Bob Herlien who really saved the day for me a couple of times. Barry, hope to see you back in action next year. Thanks again to Binion's. The home of BARGE. Thanks also to all the other people who make BARGE go. Patrick, Nick, Mickdog, Peter, Chuck, Rodney, Un, all the Goldmans, Patti, Ice, Nolan, Asya, etc. --- Oh! The Unified BARGE Theory... ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Apologies if I offend anyone who knows anything about physics or chemistry. Maybe we can work on this on the BARGE list. BARGEONs are highly negatively charged particles that only appear in Las Vegas around the first weekend in August. "Negatively charged?" you ask? Yes. Because the BARGEONs attract positively charged people known as BARGErs to Las Vegas. I believe Goldie mentioned the gravitational pull of BARGE. Perhaps someone else can factor that part in. Other important particles: Alcohol particles. These carry a positive charge of one. These particles attach to BARGErs creating new isotopes. After three drinks, Murray -> Murray 3 for example. Of course most of these isotopes become unstable at +7 to +10. There are exceptions like Monte than maintain some stability at +12. Chip particles. These also carry a small positive charge and are repelled by alcohol particles. BARGErs become more positively charged when they have more chips. A rack of chips is worth about two alcohol particles (drinks). Sleep particles. These carry a negative charge and are strongly repelled by BARGEONs. Karaoke particles. Positive charge. Laughter particles. Positive charge. --- Yes Jerrod, I'm insane, but at least I don't miss BARGE! Can I sign up for BARGE 2012 now? Ken Kubey kubey@sgi.com (510) 933-5335