From: Tom Bayes Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:31:21 -0500 Subject: [BARGE] Tom Bayes 2010 BARGE trip report The trip report is insanely long. Here's the executive version: Monday-Arrive, drink lots of vodka, Lauria sux at credit card roulette. Tuesday-Wave pool, 2nd in badugi to Prock. Wednesday-Egg & I, win small Nugget NLHE donkament, deep but no cash in Lowbah. Thursday-Breakeven Fighters don't break even in CHORSE, Goldman's party rocked, Bourbon Balls are quickly gone. Friday-Fun Run, early bust in TOC, win at H.O.R.E., drunken shenanigans at karaoke. Saturday-Deep but no cash in NLHE, lose money in reindeer games dealer's choice. Sunday-Lunch at Grand Luxe Cafe, Goldman's hangover party rocked, play Orleans HORSEament with Andre W. and terrible locals. Monday-Go home without travel bad beat stories. And the full version: Arrived Monday afternoon, took cab to Mandalay Bay, and got there just in time for vodka tasting at Red Square with Randy, Spencer, Hoser Bob, and later Dan Goldman & Fich. I had the USSR flight (really liked the Kazakh vodka) and split the Organic hippie flight with Spencer. The Siberian nachos were insanely good. I tried a little of Dan's caviar and I can live the rest of my life without caviar. We then drunkenly crashed the oh-so serious $50 nightly MB donkament. After a few language warnings for our crew (they never do that to us at Binion's), I busted as Randy's deuces held on my premium K6. Randy ended up chopping this tourney. We then went to House of Blues for more food and drink. I got up Tuesday morning, utilized both the workout room and the pool area of MB since they charged a resort fee, and checked out at 10:59 AM. This was the nicest room I've ever had in Vegas, somehow beating out Binion's, the Four Queens, and the Imperial Palace! I decided to take the cheap long way downtown and schlepped my bag down to the boulevard and hopped on the Deuce. The people watching was fun, but I might be able to walk from MB to 4Q faster than the bus. We did pass by the "Gold & Silver Pawn Shop" from History Channel fame on the way (between Strat & downtown). I thought about hopping off and trying to pawn my swank Full Tilt Mini Series of Poker winners watch, but figured the fat inked kid, idiot friend, and the old fart would just lowball me, so I stay on the bus. My first official BARGE event of the year was the Tuesday tourney, which was badugi this year. I've played several badugi tourneys on Stars, so I've probably played more tournament style badugi (or any badugi) than 95% of the field. Patti Beadles was at my first table and her new toy was a breathalyzer. Brandon from the Donkdown/Neverwin crew (Bryan Micon was BARGEing as well) was blowing legally drunk at the start of the tournament. I was doing well, even though I pretty much played ABC badugi and avoided fancy clever plays that might not work against inexperienced and/or drunk players. I did get in the successful swank value bet with 3 card hands a few times and made the nuts (432A) on David Kluchman that propelled me to the final table. I think I was 2nd or 3rd in chips as the final table commenced, with Andrew Prock in the chip lead. Kluchman got 8th, my favorite chip donator Jepstonian was 7th, and then I knocked both Mike Klein and Sharon Goldman out on the same hand to take us to the plaque bubble. Sabyl got 4th, Omaholic 3rd, and I ended up 2nd again for $760, as I was unable to make the needed comeback on Prock. I don't feel as bad about this 2nd as when I coughed up a big lead to Quiet Lion in lowbah a few years back. Wednesday was the Egg & I and more tournaments. I had never been to the Egg & I before and I'm glad I went. I had a really good corned beef hash and got to see Russ Fox almost lose his first CCR. Russ ended up heads-up against David Tahajian in a 20+ way CCR for the tip before he maintained his impressive perfect lifetime record. Several BARGErs then end up playing a morning NLHE donkament at the Golden Nugget. They only got 10 players, and I think 6 were BARGErs. It was $65 with one $40 addon. We got down to 3 players, with me and a young black guy local holding about 95% of the chips and my roomie Ron Grossberg with about 5%. Ron wanted a save, which got nothing but a laugh. Ron got knocked out by my jacks and I started HU with about 40-45% of the chips. Kid had already said the prize pool was too small to chop, not that I'd have asked for a deal (I'll do deals sometimes but I never initiate them). A couple of hands into HU I call his standard raise with Q6. The flop comes A66 and I'm really hoping he has an ace. We get all the money in and he has AQ. He's flabbergasted as I win the pot to take the massive lead, finishing things off a few hands later with QT over A2 for a $591 payday. I get over to Binion's for the 3 PM Video Poker tournament. I had never played before and probably won't play it again. I finish probably middle of the field. I'm watching the 2nd flight of players and I'm astounded by Spencer's speed at the VP machine; he's the bullet train of the VP field. Foldem's machine malfunctions and they move him to another machine, where he goes on to win the event. RIGGED! I try my first (and last) deep-fried Twinkie. The first bite was delicious; the second bite was "WTF am I doing" and I threw the rest away. The twinkie was one of the very few items of food/drink I bought this trip due to lack of someone to CCR with. The 7 PM Lowbah tournament goes pretty badly for me at the beginning, as I get down to about 2 bets by first break. I get lucky in my all-in hand after break, as I pat with a 98, Erin Ramsey (I think) breaks a 97 and loses. I do fine for a while and get to where final tabling is looking like a possibility. The critical hand which hurts me goes like this: I open in mid-position with T432A, Patrick Milligan either calls or raises less than a full bet to get all-in on the button, and both blinds come along for the ride. The blinds each draw one, and I'm in a pickle, as Patrick's still behind me and he's either already pat and better than a ten or drawing very smooth (as either or both of the other two could be). I break the ten, get a jack, and lose as Patrick makes a ten-six. End up about 20th. Thursday starts with Team CHORSE. I'm on the inappropriately named Breakeven Fighters (we didn't break even), with an all Live Journal crew of Ron Grossberg on C, Bob Jones on H, virgin Karl Kirchoff (who had just arrived in Vegas moments before) on O, Andre W. on R, myself on S, and Russ Fox on E. I institute a policy of tipping the dealer whenever Michael Brennan gets the bring-in. I probably was up a bit on my 3 S rounds, but the team nearly went busto. Doing my breaks, I played either Andre's or Karl's stack in a 4/8 dealer's choice game, winning with Karl's stack and losing Andre's chips to Karl. Sorry! I'm forced to miss sushi due to needing to do a few hours of work in my room (which should permanently disqualify me from certain organizations). I did have time before going to the Goldman's smoker/bourbon tasting to do some EV whoring with Ron. First, we paid $10 for $15 in non-negotiable chips that I decided to pop my routlette cherry with. We can only make even money bets with those chips; I lose all 3 $5 bets and Ron wins one. We then run $50 through a 9/6 JOB VP to earn $10 on our slot card to run through. We both end up making about $40 in the end. Bob Ogus gave a few of us a ride to another wonderful party at Dan & Sharon's house. They had the Famous Dave's BBQ and the bourbon slushies again and I enjoyed the bourbon tasting even more than last year as I'm starting to get into bourbons and know a bit about them. I brought the Woodford Reserve bourbon balls from Kentucky's Ruth Hunt Candies, along with Mint Julep balls. The candy went quickly. Friday morning I am up and ready for the Fun Run. I've got my Murray State triathlon shirt on (the triathlon people make all their stuff so form fitting; it's like they assume you don't have a beer belly) and I am joined by Ron, Bob, Mickdog, Joe Long, QB, Deadhead & daughter. We complete our two miles. Ron & I celebrate by going to McDonald's; I think Bob & Mick went to Krispy Kreme. Deadhead & kids probably ran 10 more miles or something. I bust quickly in TOC; something like 128th of 145. I should have had a last longer with Ron, as he was the 2nd one out. I noticed all of the Fun Runners lost quickly to the Drunken Over-eaters who were still in bed at 7:30 AM. Spend the afternoon/early evening playing a 4/8 H.O.R.E. game with lots of handsome BARGErs such as Andre W., Karl, and Len G., who is always the 3rd best looking guy at the table. For a while Joe Long and Murray Logan are sitting next to each other and it's like the BARGE list has come to life. I actually book a small win in this game and go to crash karaoke for the end. Meet up with lots of drunks there. Chat with the Micon; I had played with him in an Orleans HORSEament last November 27th and learned that he won the tournament player of the month for November when his first event there was that event, which he won and then went on a tear. Those fields are spongy soft; the average comatose BARGEr can still think about poker at a higher level than the average local degen. Lots of other shenanigans that are of the "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas" variety. I lost my "Fish Organizer" button that Goldie gave me at the Egg & I breakfast. Saddenz :( Maybe I'll find it someday. Return after karaoke and rejoin the H.O.R.E. game. I decide to play one of my holdem hands completely blind. I end up HU on river with Grizz. He raises me, so I decide to just call and he shows KQ on a board that was like KK6T9 or something. I find 87 for the rivered straight and a big pot. The very next hand I decide to look and see kings. It's capped like 5 ways preflop and I keep firing and win another massive pot as unimproved cowboys hold. Bob J. and Murray then keep pushing my stacks over, so I play with a messy pile o' chips for the first time in my life. End up leaving with a nice win. Saturday is main event day. I draw a pretty conservative & tight table. After a couple of unsuccessful continuation bets, I'm down to about 1600 of the original 2000 when I double up. Chris Kluchman opens for a standard raise in EP, I call on the button with J8 s00ted. The flop is beautiful: it's 79T for the flopped nuts. She bets, I call. Turn is a blank and she bets again. I'm pretty sure she has an overpair and smooth call again. She bets the river, I put the rest in, she reluctantly calls with her kings and gets crippled. I get very little in the way of cards but keep myself above an average stack with some well-timed steals and 3bets, barely ever showing any cards. My one bustout gift of the day is Lee Crocker's pink bowtie. He had just gotten moved to my table. I open UTG with QQ, he shoves a short stack, I call and hold on his AK. Never got a chance to go after the iPad or Carol Kline's massage. Eventually we are getting down under 50 players and cashing is becoming a possibility. My table breaks and I get Goldie's old seat, as he has busted and I win my $10 LL with him. I almost immediately gift-wrap my entire stack to Chuck Weinstock, sitting 2 seats to my right. I open a pot in the cutoff with 97 sooted, he calls from SB. I bet out a queen high flop, he calls. The turn is an ace and I put the rest in, but the AK I'm hoping he thinks I have is his holding. I do have 4 gutshot outs that I somehow miss on the river and IGHN in 40th place. Sit with mainly the LJ crew at the banquet. It's Russ, Bob, Ron, Andre Whime, Spencer, Aaron Lion and his wife (Aaron's still in the main event that he got 4th in). Russ says the merlot is horrible; I try it and get the bitter beer ^H^H^H^H wine face. The meal is decent; Patti will be happy that I only ate half of the ludicrously large piece of cheesecake. After Barry Tanenbaum's talk (where always having a poker reason behind each play you make was a theme), I ask him if having a poker reason for each play applies to Reindeer Games. He replies that there is no poker reason to play Reindeer Games. I sit at 4/8 Dealers Choice with a mostly LJ crowd, intending to move later to the lowbah cash game that I usually play on Saturday night. Ronald Nutt is the beneficiary of our loose bad play, as his stack gets to the point of obscurely his view of his cards and the board. I guess Ron N. was taking Barry T.'s message of "Always Call Morons" to heart. I call badugi during my round and am blessed to be dealt a pat seven when Sabyl is dealt a pat six, resulting in the inevitable loss of a big pot. People start going to bed and donks like Bill Chen (who had both shirt and pants on) sit in. I do win a nice pot off of Bill in some tic-tac-toe version of omaha/8 with a 3 by 3 grid of cards. Eventually dealer's choice breaks and some Chinese is played until I leave at about 3 AM. Sunday comes around. Without Sean in town, we decide against the Bellagio sports book to bet on ponies. Russ, Mickdog, Zbig, and I go to the Palazzo Grand Luxe Cafe for late breakfast/early lunch, meeting Aaron, his wife, and young daughter. I have the short rib grilled cheese and raspberry lemonade. Mickdog loses CCR, leaving me a perfect 5 for 5 on this trip, including a HU win with Ron when we were using my 2-for-1 birthday month comp at the Magnolia. We give the Venetian a little bit of VP action (loss for me) and then go to the Goldman's hangover party. Another fabulous time with many of the remaining BARGErs and more great food from the hosts. I book a $18 win playing high/A-5 with bug/high Chinese. Eventually Russ drops me off at the Orleans and I meet up with Andre W. for the Sunday night $75 HORSEament. There ended up being 52 players in this event. The standard of play was absolutely terribad; I'd say sub $5 online HORSE and not much better than the free-roll level. I'm confident both Andre and I were in the top 5 players in this event. There are 20 minute levels and a break after each 5 levels. A young Chinese guy comes in on my left during the razz round. He fancies himself as a razz expert, even though he's just a maniac spew-monkey. He builds a nice stack, but I snap him off at the end of the round. He has 432x showing and is playing hard, but I call down with rough eight as I put him on a guy that would play three low pair like the nuts. He had three low pair and MHIG. Won another razz hand when I completed, caught an Ace on 4th street and another baby on 5th, completing my seven, and someone called me down since I must have paired my ace because you can't complete in razz without an ace, according to conventional live wisdom. The maniac then spewed off his entire stack in S and E. I thought he was gone, but the Orleans allows re-entry. He re-entered, built up a big stack during the second rounds of H and O, and then spewed it off again playing R and S like a master. Both Andre and I got through the first round and played together briefly in the second round. There was some brief controversy. We were playing stud high with 200 ante, 300 bring-in, and 1000/2000 bets. Some annoying old Russian dude was wandering around a lot and it was his bring-in, so the dealer brought him in. He immediately got back to his seat and asked why there were chips out. An argument ensued over whether his hand was dead or not. The floor was called and ruled that his hand was live until there was subsequent action. I intended to complete, but absent-mindedly flipped out a 1000 chip without saying complete until after my chip hit, which was correctly ruled a call. Someone else did complete so douche could be officially out of the hand. Andre and I made it through the second break, but I was short and the structure at this point was a crapshoot. Allen "Chainsaw" Kessler would have been furious. I did chip up during the 3rd holdem round, as the players then got insanely tight after having been insanely loose the entire time up to then. A couple of omaha/8 hands didn't work out and I bust 14th. Andre is still in, with 5 paid, but busts 9th after getting it all in good during razz. We then cab back to downtown and Andre entertains the cabbie talking about indie band Chavez. I get a few hours of sleep, get ride to airport from Russ, on his way back to California, and get to Nashville and drive home with no travel bad beat stories. Somehow I only gained 1 pound during BARGE week. The way I figure it, I could do 26 BARGEs a year. I'd gain one pound each week, go home to sleep, exercise, and diet and lose 2 pounds, then come back for another week, rinse and repeat and lose 26 pounds by next year. Thanks to lots of people, including Bob Lauria for being such a donk at credit card roulette during the Mandalay Bay night, Goldie/Ice/Chuck for the Egg & I, Ron G. for organizing the Fun Run and not farting too much in the hotel room (although who would have thought a bail bondsman's phone would ring at all hours?), Bob O and Russ for various rides, the Binion's staff for another fun week of poker, and the organizers Peter, Nick, and Mickdog for way too much work. Chris "Tom Bayes" Mecklin --_ad777a64-71a8-43f3-bbe8-4c0eab5f5b58_ Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable The trip report is insanely long.  Here's the executive version:

Monday-Arrive, drink lots of vodka, Lauria sux at credit card roulette.
Tuesday-Wave pool, 2nd in badugi to Prock.
Wednesday-Egg & I, win small Nugget NLHE donkament, deep but no cash in Lowbah.
Thursday-Breakeven Fighters don't break even in CHORSE, Goldman's party rocked, Bourbon Balls are quickly gone.
Friday-Fun Run, early bust in TOC, win at H.O.R.E., drunken shenanigans at karaoke.
Saturday-Deep but no cash in NLHE, lose money in reindeer games dealer's choice.
Sunday-Lunch at Grand Luxe Cafe, Goldman's hangover party rocked, play Orleans HORSEament with Andre W. and terrible locals.
Monday-Go home without travel bad beat stories.

And the full version:

Arrived Monday afternoon, took cab to Mandalay Bay, and got there just in time for vodka tasting at Red Square with Randy, Spencer, Hoser Bob, and later Dan Goldman & Fich.  I had the USSR flight (really liked the Kazakh vodka) and split the Organic hippie flight with Spencer.  The Siberian nachos were insanely good.  I tried a little of Dan's caviar and I can live the rest of my life without caviar.  We then drunkenly crashed the oh-so serious $50 nightly MB donkament.  After a few language warnings for our crew (they never do that to us at Binion's), I busted as Randy's deuces held on my premium K6.  Randy ended up chopping this tourney.  We then went to House of Blues for more food and drink. 

    I got up Tuesday morning, utilized both the workout room and the pool area of MB since they charged a resort fee, and checked out at 10:59 AM.  This was the nicest room I've ever had in Vegas, somehow beating out Binion's, the Four Queens, and the Imperial Palace!  I decided to take the cheap long way downtown and schlepped my bag down to the boulevard and hopped on the Deuce.  The people watching was fun, but I might be able to walk from MB to 4Q faster than the bus.  We did pass by the "Gold & Silver Pawn Shop" from History Channel fame on the way (between Strat & downtown).  I thought about hopping off and trying to pawn my swank Full Tilt Mini Series of Poker winners watch, but figured the fat inked kid, idiot friend, and the old fart would just lowball me, so I stay on the bus.

    My first official BARGE event of the year was the Tuesday tourney, which was badugi this year.  I've played several badugi tourneys on Stars, so I've probably played more tournament style badugi (or any badugi) than 95% of the field.  Patti Beadles was at my first table and her new toy was a breathalyzer.  Brandon from the Donkdown/Neverwin crew (Bryan Micon was BARGEing as well) was blowing legally drunk at the start of the tournament.  I was doing well, even though I pretty much played ABC badugi and avoided fancy clever plays that might not work against inexperienced and/or drunk players.  I did get in the successful swank value bet with 3 card hands a few times and made the nuts (432A) on David Kluchman that propelled me to the final table.  I think I was 2nd or 3rd in chips as the final table commenced, with Andrew Prock in the chip lead.  Kluchman got 8th, my favorite chip donator Jepstonian was 7th, and then I knocked both Mike Klein and Sharon Goldman out on the same hand to take us to the plaque bubble.  Sabyl got 4th, Omaholic 3rd, and I ended up 2nd again for $760, as I was unable to make the needed comeback on Prock.  I don't feel as bad about this 2nd as when I coughed up a big lead to Quiet Lion in lowbah a few years back.

    Wednesday was the Egg & I and more tournaments.  I had never been to the Egg & I before and I'm glad I went.  I had a really good corned beef hash and got to see Russ Fox almost lose his first CCR.  Russ ended up heads-up against David Tahajian in a 20+ way CCR for the tip before he maintained his impressive perfect lifetime record.  Several BARGErs then end up playing a morning NLHE donkament at the Golden Nugget.  They only got 10 players, and I think 6 were BARGErs.  It was $65 with one $40 addon.  We got down to 3 players, with me and a young black guy local holding about 95% of the chips and my roomie Ron Grossberg with about 5%.  Ron wanted a save, which got nothing but a laugh.  Ron got knocked out by my jacks and I started HU with about 40-45% of the chips.  Kid had already said the prize pool was too small to chop, not that I'd have asked for a deal (I'll do deals sometimes but I never initiate them).  A couple of hands into HU I call his standard raise with Q6.  The flop comes A66 and I'm really hoping he has an ace.  We get all the money in and he has AQ.  He's flabbergasted as I win the pot to take the massive lead, finishing things off a few hands later with QT over A2 for a $591 payday.

    I get over to Binion's for the 3 PM Video Poker tournament. I had never played before and probably won't play it again.  I finish probably middle of the field.  I'm watching the 2nd flight of players and I'm astounded by Spencer's speed at the VP machine; he's the bullet train of the VP field.  Foldem's machine malfunctions and they move him to another machine, where he goes on to win the event.  RIGGED! I try my first (and last) deep-fried Twinkie.  The first bite was delicious; the second bite was "WTF am I doing" and I threw the rest away.  The twinkie was one of the very few items of food/drink I bought this trip due to lack of someone to CCR with. 

    The 7 PM Lowbah tournament goes pretty badly for me at the beginning, as I get down to about 2 bets by first break.  I get lucky in my all-in hand after break, as I pat with a 98, Erin Ramsey (I think) breaks a 97 and loses.  I do fine for a while and get to where final tabling is looking like a possibility.  The critical hand which hurts me goes like this:  I open in mid-position with T432A, Patrick Milligan either calls or raises less than a full bet to get all-in on the button, and both blinds come along for the ride.  The blinds each draw one, and I'm in a pickle, as Patrick's still behind me and he's either already pat and better than a ten or drawing very smooth (as either or both of the other two could be).  I break the ten, get a jack, and lose as Patrick makes a ten-six.  End up about 20th.

    Thursday starts with Team CHORSE.  I'm on the inappropriately named Breakeven Fighters (we didn't break even), with an all Live Journal crew of Ron Grossberg on C, Bob Jones on H, virgin Karl Kirchoff (who had just arrived in Vegas moments before) on O, Andre W. on R, myself on S, and Russ Fox on E.  I institute a policy of tipping the dealer whenever Michael Brennan gets the bring-in.  I probably was up a bit on my 3 S rounds, but the team nearly went busto.  Doing my breaks, I played either Andre's or Karl's stack in a 4/8 dealer's choice game, winning with Karl's stack and losing Andre's chips to Karl.  Sorry!

    I'm forced to miss sushi due to needing to do a few hours of work in my room (which should permanently disqualify me from certain organizations).  I did have time before going to the Goldman's smoker/bourbon tasting to do some EV whoring with Ron.  First, we paid $10 for $15 in non-negotiable chips that I decided to pop my routlette cherry with.  We can only make even money bets with those chips; I lose all 3 $5 bets and Ron wins one.  We then run $50 through a 9/6 JOB VP to earn $10 on our slot card to run through.  We both end up making about $40 in the end.

    Bob Ogus gave a few of us a ride to another wonderful party at Dan & Sharon's house.  They had the Famous Dave's BBQ and the bourbon slushies again and I enjoyed the bourbon tasting even more than last year as I'm starting to get into bourbons and know a bit about them.  I brought the Woodford Reserve bourbon balls from Kentucky's Ruth Hunt Candies, along with Mint Julep balls.  The candy went quickly.

    Friday morning I am up and ready for the Fun Run. I've got my Murray State triathlon shirt on (the triathlon people make all their stuff so form fitting; it's like they assume you don't have a beer belly) and I am joined by Ron, Bob, Mickdog, Joe Long, QB, Deadhead & daughter.  We complete our two miles.  Ron & I celebrate by going to McDonald's; I think Bob & Mick went to Krispy Kreme.  Deadhead & kids probably ran 10 more miles or something.  I bust quickly in TOC; something like 128th of 145.  I should have had a last longer with Ron, as he was the 2nd one out.  I noticed all of the Fun Runners lost quickly to the Drunken Over-eaters who were still in bed at 7:30 AM.

    Spend the afternoon/early evening playing a 4/8 H.O.R.E. game with lots of handsome BARGErs such as Andre W., Karl, and Len G., who is always the 3rd best looking guy at the table.  For a while Joe Long and Murray Logan are sitting next to each other and it's like the BARGE list has come to life.  I actually book a small win in this game and go to crash karaoke for the end.  Meet up with lots of drunks there.  Chat with the Micon; I had played with him in an Orleans HORSEament last November 27th and learned that he won the tournament player of the month for November when his first event there was that event, which he won and then went on a tear.  Those fields are spongy soft; the average comatose BARGEr can still think about poker at a higher level than the average local degen.  Lots of other shenanigans that are of the "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas" variety. I lost my "Fish Organizer" button that Goldie gave me at the Egg & I breakfast. Saddenz :(  Maybe I'll find it someday.

     Return after karaoke and rejoin the H.O.R.E. game.  I decide to play one of my holdem hands completely blind.  I end up HU on river with Grizz.  He raises me, so I decide to just call and he shows KQ on a board that was like KK6T9 or something.  I find 87 for the rivered straight and a big pot.  The very next hand I decide to look and see kings.  It's capped like 5 ways preflop and I keep firing and win another massive pot as unimproved cowboys hold.  Bob J. and Murray then keep pushing my stacks over, so I play with a messy pile o' chips for the first time in my life.  End up leaving with a nice win.

    Saturday is main event day.  I draw a pretty conservative & tight table.  After a couple of unsuccessful continuation bets, I'm down to about 1600 of the original 2000 when I double up.  Chris Kluchman opens for a standard raise in EP, I call on the button with J8 s00ted.  The flop is beautiful: it's 79T for the flopped nuts.  She bets, I call.  Turn is a blank and she bets again.  I'm pretty sure she has an overpair and smooth call again.  She bets the river, I put the rest in, she reluctantly calls with her kings and gets crippled.  I get very little in the way of cards but keep myself above an average stack with some well-timed steals and 3bets, barely ever showing any cards. 

    My one bustout gift of the day is Lee Crocker's pink bowtie.  He had just gotten moved to my table.  I open UTG with QQ, he shoves a short stack, I call and hold on his AK. Never got a chance to go after the iPad or Carol Kline's massage. Eventually we are getting down under 50 players and cashing is becoming a possibility.  My table breaks and I get Goldie's old seat, as he has busted and I win my $10 LL with him.  I almost immediately gift-wrap my entire stack to Chuck Weinstock, sitting 2 seats to my right.  I open a pot in the cutoff with 97 sooted, he calls from SB.  I bet out a queen high flop, he calls.  The turn is an ace and I put the rest in, but the AK I'm hoping he thinks I have is his holding.  I do have 4 gutshot outs that I somehow miss on the river and IGHN in 40th place.

    Sit with mainly the LJ crew at the banquet.  It's Russ, Bob, Ron, Andre Whime, Spencer, Aaron Lion and his wife (Aaron's still in the main event that he got 4th in).  Russ says the merlot is horrible; I try it and get the bitter beer ^H^H^H^H wine face.  The meal is decent; Patti will be happy that I only ate half of the ludicrously large piece of cheesecake.  After Barry Tanenbaum's talk (where always having a poker reason behind each play you make was a theme), I ask him if having a poker reason for each play applies to Reindeer Games.  He replies that there is no poker reason to play Reindeer Games.  I sit at 4/8 Dealers Choice with a mostly LJ crowd, intending to move later to the lowbah cash game that I usually play on Saturday night.  Ronald Nutt is the beneficiary of our loose bad play, as his stack gets to the point of obscurely his view of his cards and the board. I guess Ron N. was taking Barry T.'s message of "Always Call Morons" to heart.  I call badugi during my round and am blessed to be dealt a pat seven when Sabyl is dealt a pat six, resulting in the inevitable loss of a big pot.  People start going to bed and donks like Bill Chen (who had both shirt and pants on) sit in.  I do win a nice pot off of Bill in some tic-tac-toe version of omaha/8 with a 3 by 3 grid of cards. Eventually dealer's choice breaks and some Chinese is played until I leave at about 3 AM.

    Sunday comes around.  Without Sean in town, we decide against the Bellagio sports book to bet on ponies.  Russ, Mickdog, Zbig, and I go to the Palazzo Grand Luxe Cafe for late breakfast/early lunch, meeting Aaron, his wife, and young daughter.  I have the short rib grilled cheese and raspberry lemonade.  Mickdog loses CCR, leaving me a perfect 5 for 5 on this trip, including a HU win with Ron when we were using my 2-for-1 birthday month comp at the Magnolia.  We give the Venetian a little bit of VP action (loss for me) and then go to the Goldman's hangover party.  Another fabulous time with many of the remaining BARGErs and more great food from the hosts.  I book a $18 win playing high/A-5 with bug/high Chinese.  Eventually Russ drops me off at the Orleans and I meet up with Andre W.  for the Sunday night $75 HORSEament.

    There ended up being 52 players in this event.  The standard of play was absolutely terribad; I'd say sub $5 online HORSE and not much better than the free-roll level.  I'm confident both Andre and I were in the top 5 players in this event.  There are 20 minute levels and a break after each 5 levels.  A young Chinese guy comes in on my left during the razz round.  He fancies himself as a razz expert, even though he's just a maniac spew-monkey.  He builds a nice stack, but I snap him off at the end of the round.  He has 432x showing and is playing hard, but I call down with rough eight as I put him on a guy that would play three low pair like the nuts.  He had three low pair and MHIG.  Won another razz hand when I completed, caught an Ace on 4th street and another baby on 5th, completing my seven, and someone called me down since I must have paired my ace because you can't complete in razz without an ace, according to conventional live wisdom.  The maniac then spewed off his entire stack in S and E.  I thought he was gone, but the Orleans allows re-entry.  He re-entered, built up a big stack during the second rounds of H and O, and then spewed it off again playing R and S like a master.

    Both Andre and I got through the first round and played together briefly in the second round.  There was some brief controversy.  We were playing stud high with 200 ante, 300 bring-in, and 1000/2000 bets.  Some annoying old Russian dude was wandering around a lot and it was his bring-in, so the dealer brought him in.  He immediately got back to his seat and asked why there were chips out.  An argument ensued over whether his hand was dead or not.  The floor was called and ruled that his hand was live until there was subsequent action.  I intended to complete, but absent-mindedly flipped out a 1000 chip without saying complete until after my chip hit, which was correctly ruled a call.  Someone else did complete so douche could be officially out of the hand. 

    Andre and I made it through the second break, but I was short and the structure at this point was a crapshoot.  Allen "Chainsaw" Kessler would have been furious.  I did chip up during the 3rd holdem round, as the players then got insanely tight after having been insanely loose the entire time up to then.  A couple of omaha/8 hands didn't work out and I bust 14th.  Andre is still in, with 5 paid, but busts 9th after getting it all in good during razz.  We then cab back to downtown and Andre entertains the cabbie talking about indie band Chavez.  I get a few hours of sleep, get ride to airport from Russ, on his way back to California, and get to Nashville and drive home with no travel bad beat stories.  Somehow I only gained 1 pound during BARGE week.  The way I figure it, I could do 26 BARGEs a year.  I'd gain one pound each week, go home to sleep, exercise, and diet and lose 2 pounds, then come back for another week, rinse and repeat and lose 26 pounds by next year.

    Thanks to lots of people, including Bob Lauria for being such a donk at credit card roulette during the Mandalay Bay night, Goldie/Ice/Chuck for the Egg & I, Ron G. for organizing the Fun Run and not farting too much in the hotel room (although who would have thought a bail bondsman's phone would ring at all hours?), Bob O and Russ for various rides, the Binion's staff for another fun week of poker, and the organizers Peter, Nick, and Mickdog for way too much work.

Chris "Tom Bayes" Mecklin
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