Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2010 02:14:05 -0400 From: Erin Ramsay Subject: [BARGE] A Sophmore Barger's Trip Report. Warning: Loooooong A huge thank you to the organizers for all of your hard work. Thanks to everyone for being welcoming and kind. I enjoyed myself immensly. For the seond year in a row :-) Short Version: - got really drunk every day/night - played awesome mixed games - made my first final table - learned to shoot craps - hung out with friends, new and old - three party injuries, one unidentified LONG VERSION: --------------- Phew! I made my first plane after racing 300 hundred kilometers (that's 175 miles to you backwards imperial hicks) home to pack a bag and catch a cab to the airport. Surprisingly for a Monday, US customs in Toronto are a breeze and I cruise around YYZ duty free picking up fuel and bust-out gifts for the week. I settle in with a pint to wait for the Bronzedodger and the Virgin Queen. They are about (ah-boot) an hour behind me and have a more unpleasant border crossing than I, so the VQ downs a double Grand Marnier, while I shoot a glenlivet. BD is shaking off a binge from the previous night and is the subject of our gentle teasing. We step off the plane into a dry heat and I've got a sweet buzz going on that is harshed by our decision to take a shuttle that is departing "imminently" for "downtown" which I should have realized was "once full" and "stopping on the strip first". I check into the four queens and ride the elevator up with two stately women, one which who is absolutely trashed. I ask them where the party is (or was). I get gales of laughter from the wasted one and tolerant eye rolling from the other - 50%, I'll take it. Score! My room is decent and doesn't smell like smoke. Nice and close to the Fremont exit. My only complaint is the soap bars smell like old timey barber shop. Luckily I'm a princess and travel with my own. BD and I saunter over to Binion's poker room to see if anyone is up late (we're well past midnight). We instead sit at tables at the nugget with me choosing a 2-4 game that I donated to while suckling beers. There is a young man playing at the table buying in for two stacks at a time and evertime he buys in he pulls out a bank roll as thick as my first. The 3 seat see this and says "son, you be needin' more than one rubber band on that thing! that thing gonna snap, take out someone's eye! Get yo'self some mo' rubber bands!". I find this hilarious. 4:30 am, I am sufficiently decompressed and on vacation. Fucking eh. Tuesday noonish, BD and VQ sneak me into the nugget pool area so I can ride the slide and get some rays. My ashkenazi/scotch/irish skin taps out after 45 minutes. Timing is good as Jepstonian has arrived and requires porter services. We celebrate our mini reunion with club sandwiches and a couple rounds of coronas before rolling into the poker room. We must play some cards but I was already sipping from my hip flask and had a good cross-discipline buzz on. Saw lots of BARGErs who I remember from last year and who I was pleasantly surprised remembered me too. I remember Bob O and Randy taking pulls on my flask but the rest is hazy (like the whole week). I sit down for the badugi tournament at a fun table with Tom Bayes in the 8 seat, Randy in 7, I'm in 6, Patti in 5, Scott Samarel 4, Russ in 3, Brandon in 2. Jeanne started with us in the 1 seat, not sure. I suckle from the flask, share with Patti who corrects my pronunciation of "Caol Isla" and issues a roadside sobriety test and determines me fit to play after blowing a 0.08. Brandon's attempt to order an absolut and pineapple results in the creation of an awesome new drink. The whole table takes a taste and scott and I finish it. About a half-hour in I re-raise Russ Fox's open raise with a three card seven to gales of laughter at the table. I lean around the 4 and 5 seat to ask "Mr. Fox. Do you have a reputation for tightness of which I was not aware?" Laughter intensifies. Russ smiles politely and calls, indicating he is pat. I take a card and muck to his second round raise figuring I'm drawing dead. He flashes the 6-4 badugi, confirming me as the butt of the joke. :-) I don't last too much longer as none of my pat dealt hands are good enough and none of my 3 cards get there. Grapes busts me. I forget my bust outs gift :-(, although when I remmeber the next day, he elects for the mini ice wine over maple syrup. I thought the odds on drawing out to a badugi when you are dealt a three cards were over 50%? (This is rhetorical as I flip my coin 100 times looking for runs of 5-6...). I sweat some of Jepsen's hands and neglect to introduce myself to Mr. Christensen (again), so I feel like a dick - sorry sir!. Wednesday is pretty much a haze between booze, poker and varia. Play some dealer's choice in Binion's poker room. I believe this first of many time I hear Bart call out "Razz-dugi! Game of the future!". I love it. Jepsen and his lovely wife Ori have some samples of arrogant bastard beer. This cranks up the buzz before we go to binion's steakhouse with BD, VQ, Steve and Jan Pierce. I sit with Steve and Jan and have some lovely conversation, most of which I think I still remember. My steak is great. Steve has a coupon and the rest of us have enough comps left over to cover most of the bill (sauf le pourboir, a.k.a "le tip"). Head back to Binion's poker room and keep working on the beers and scotch, first class banter and awesome card games. I love BARGE. Thursday I wake up with a terrible hangover. My head *hurts*. The dehydration forces me awake at 10, well before my planned wakefullness of 11:15. I stand in the shower for 20 minutes before the guilt of wasting of potable water overcomes my selfishness. I think about coffee. Nope. And decided to saunter towards the c-horse tourney and meet up with Fold Dark - who I'm shocked are all awake and ready for 10h30. Get talking with QB and Scott and decided to start drinking again. Scott and I perfect the crazy pinepapple (Pineapple, Kahlua and vodka to taste) and order up 10. The go like hotcakes. I feel better. QB loves the drink but refuses to gracefully dump chips to me in the CP leg of Chorse. Every leg Kyle does great in the Omaha hands and then I sit down and give it right back. A7, A2, A3 all suited can't make a high or a low. I think I rake one pot in 30 hands and a split at that. I get a ride to sushi with Patrick and Eileen Milligan and get to meet Bruce/Cyberchomp. I get to hear about Patrick's poker league which sounds awesome and I'm totally jealous. I love hearing that Eileen deals at 101, maybe this will finally give me the push to go in there next time I'm in the bay area (my company's head offices are just up brokaw road). Sushi is awesome and the sake fantastic!! Thank you Asya, Thank you Ben! I order uni, which Un decries "look like what I scraped off my balls last night!". I bide my time and wait for Un to take an oversize mouthful and reply "it kinda tastes like your balls too...". Un avoids making a mess by choking. I find this hilarious. Before we leave, I'm asked to take a breathylser and Randy sets the bettign line at 0.12. I don't think any wagers were laid but I blew... 0.12. For the sushi bet, I took the under and lost :-( Get back to Binions and think about a nap but play cards instead until it's time for the 6 game. Hangover is now back in full force. Ow, it hurts. Somehow I hang around until Yo, kindly and in pity, brings me pain killers. They go down great with a beer and I feel soooooo much better. I hang around, and around and somewhere in the middle of pack go on a chowaha heater, then a stud game heater and build a chip stack. Get moved to table 1 with Grapes, Ploink, Lou, Rick M., Joe gets moved over at one point. We start getting close to the bubble. I'm not longer drunk or hungover. This starts to negatively affect my play. Rick cripples me in a ridiculous hand. We're playing stud/8 and I'm the bring in with a deuce showing, Rick's door card is a king, he completes, I look at my cards and find aces, we take turns raising until just before I cap, I say "you know I have aces and your kings are behind, just fold". Rick smiles and puts himself all in in the dark. We turn them up. I make trip aces, he makes trip kings, I catch a three keeping my low alive, Rick catches a blank, I catch another boating me up, Rick catches.... the fourth King. ARghghgahhgahh. This isn't a bad bead story because I bust him about 10 hands later :-). My thanks go out to the wonderful woman from Kansas, sitting to my left in the two seat (I am so sorry, I've forgotten your name), who told me to just forget about it and bounce back. At this point I'm on a heater and the cards are playing themselves. I'm raising chowaha hands left and right. Next hand Ploink turns to me and asks "I would love to know what your Chowaha raising range is..... wait, do you know what your raising range is?". "No..... I raise" (I really didn't know what Ploink was talking about, I later learn from TT what a raising range actually is - it was a good lesson, Thanks TT!!). I lose a big pot to Ploink as the bubble bursts and I make my first Barge final table. The previous pot, lost to Ploink cripples me and at the final table I try and pick on the shortest stack in Mr. Patterson who instead has the audacity to make two pair on 7th and double through me. The 4 seat, was that you Mark?, also the other short stack doubles through Lou, then Lou busts me on the next hand. IGHN.... well.... maybe not home. I tip out the tourney director (is this the right thing to do? gave the dealer the last of my singles) and take my winnings to the craps table. The ADBs are still supposed to be on the craps crawl right? It's just 2 AM right? I run into QB, Leslie and Rick which seems to be all that is left. I inform them I am a craps virgin and promptly crap out as soon as setting my point (I guess throwing dice in the alley does count against the luck). Leslie and QB wander away, I'm assuming in disgust at my virgin craps toss. Rick hangs out and teaches me how to throw dice. I love it!!! We leave up and I have a dream of getting a few hours of sleep. Not too much of a hangover on Friday morning. I'm feeling OK. I think about coffee again. Nope. Wander over towards Binions and run into Aaron Lion. We have a nice chat. I follow him to starbucks as I feel like coffee after all. I miss the first hand of the ToC but settle in with an unclaimed stack to my right. Just as I'm contemplating of how many times I can steal this empty blind or bring-in, I break even, I guess, (just kidding!) as Bree takes her seat. Meredith is in the 7 spot (I'm in 9). Dave Tahajian is acting as table captian helping the dealer chop pots and is killing me with his hilarity. TomCat is across from me in the 6th. Fun table and we go a long time without losing anyone. I can't remember it was during the TOC but at one point get into a hand with Barbara, Kevan's Mom, who tries the "how much can I put in the pot mr. dealer?" I'm not falling for it. "I played with you last year, Mrs. Garret, I'm not falling for the 'I'm just a girl' ploy" and I muck. I play for a long time, going out in the high 30s. I try to take a stand with three high, live cards in the stud hand and run into rolled up deuces from the bring in!!! Someone else collects maple syrup for their morning pancakes. I roll into the poker room and see BG pointing to a seat on her left at 4-8 dealers choice and promptly get dealt into the hand. What's the game? 2-7 razz, which I've never played but sounds like fun. I'm showing a 7 and bet and check my hole cards for a deuce and a 5. I find myself heads up with JP showing a 3. Am I intimidated? Hells yeah, so I take umbrage in brashness (yes, I am all liquored up again at this point). I pair my 7, while JP catches a 4. I bet. I catch 4, JP catches a 5, I bet. I catch a queen, JP catches a 6. I bet. JP is showing a smooth six while I've got sevens, a four and a queen showing. "You must have a two down there" he utters, to which I reply "why so must you sir". I catch a 6 on 7th to complete the total suck out, raking a big pot. I proceed to slowly bleed out the chips from my one winning hand. Time for the calc....symposium. Man I love this event. I see a few comments about how the cash pool isn't what it used to be but I never knew otherwise, so I don't know better :-). Last year during my virgin year, this event is when I fell in love with BARGE. The very act of gambling on gambling is so.... degenerate. I love it!!! Last year i have this vivid memory through a haze and severe inebration of furious swapping of side action going on at the back of the karaoke party. Gambling on Gambling on Gab0000000000000ling!!!!!! Muahahahahahahhaha! Our syndicate had fun with Kyle making a few side wagers for some personal horses he wanted. Karoake is fun and I hang around and watch some great duets and solos from Goldmans, All my heroes are BARGErs, other great renditions and what I felt was the highlight - Nolan rocking the shit out of stairway. Awesome. I have some great conversation with Dan G about how to play video poker (might actually play in the tourne next year), Bruce K about the origins of Oklahoma and TT, where I finally learn what Ploink meant about a raising range. TT had a slick application that I now suspect was brewed on a pokerstove of wizardry. Finally had the chance to catch up with Bob O. But enough of signing, I's gots thes Gamb00ls rushes goings ons. With a new addiction spiked in my veins by Mr. Bevan, I go and shoot craps with Jepstonian. We start betting hardways, and field bets and drink heavily. We are warned several times to keep our beers away from the table. Life is good, the pass line is paying off, we're slapping hands and bumping chests. Scotts busts out of the TOC and wins the team Fold Dark last longer and collects us at the craps table to head to the 4Q microbrewery for sampler platters and deep dish. We get sloppy drunk (mah nishtanah hah layh-lah hazeh?) and decide to go play cards. Apparently Scott steps into Binion's poker room and announces that the juiciest, loosest, drunken fools are about to play and gets a table going. Jepsen and I stop at the craps table on the way where I dumped all my profits from the previous session plus another c note..... i still love it. I exhilirate in a feeling of dengeneracy when they can't swipe us in at the card table because we are still logged in at the craps table. Omaholic, Mark Rafn, and I think Grizz joins 4/6ths of team fold dark in a game I don't really remember except for Jepsen scooping a huge tic-tac-tomaha pot on the hand he declared would be his last before dealt. We tried Omadugi as well, which I think Grizz did well in. The wizard Prock wandered over at one point and took Dagon's vacated seat. He attempted to put a spell on the table with his wiley play but my cloak of neutrality allows me to end up 6$ for the session. My plan to sabotoge Prock's NLHE event play by keeping him awake all night works until I realize I've also sabotaged myself. I roll out of bed in pain and drag my ass to the NLHE event. TT has Krispy Kremes for the table and I am almost sick right there. He doesn't force a donut on me but lets me rock a sweet KK hat. I got a fun table (is there any other at BARGE?) with Chuck W., Bob L, Gillian, BronzeDodger and other great people I am forgetting now (I'm sorry, my memory is getting very fuzzy by this point). I play OK until after the break when I feel I need to build a stack or go home and my AK doesn't hit versus Fold 'em's JJ. Enjoy yer syrup you drunken bastige! I walk towards the cafe to get some food when I'm accosted by a young man who wants money. I say no. He asks for food, I say sure. The take out order is waaaaay too long as I have to wait for this guy's double bacon burger while he shows me his gang tats and self-inflicted cut marks repeatedly asking for money and threatening to kill himself "cuz, yo, life don mattah tah me, yo". I tell him he's weirding me out. He keeps trying to shake my hand and one hand hug me. I'm paranoid about being pickpocketed. *Finally* the burger is up and I can walk away. It was weird. I play some dealers choice and witness some fantastic banter between David Kluchman, Dave Tahajian and Ming Lee. Those guys cracked me up and inspired my previously sent to the list, lyrics of "Pay off Wizard". We break for the banquet. I quite enjoyed my steak. Sat with Gillian and Gerdog, Kevan and Kevan's mom and had some great conversation. Barry's talk was great for me (as a -EV poker player), although I slip out near the end to fetch the rest of my scotch bottle. I sit down to a dealers choice game with Corey, Warren, Allknight, Bob O, Eileen, Old Bear, Jepsen and Carol. The vetos are quickly used as someone calls razzdugi, I'm sad until I want to use a veto on arithmatic poker - sorry Warren, Math is Hard!! The scotch is freely flowing and I'm a catching cards. I tip the waitress every time she walks by because I feel bad I'm drinking from a bottle, she keeps me in ice and water though, which is awesome. Eileen makes a sweet chip castles that was beautiful and quite sturdy. I accidentally slow roll Corey when everyone goes to the river on a stud hand and the shared card on seventh gives me three kings in a row. Corey is the only one to call my bet and which I reply if you can beat what I'm showing your good. His flush was good until I turned over my hole cards and forgot that my doored seven were paired giving me a boat. I feel like a complete ass but Corey was super cool. He refused to take back his last bet, so I used it feed the next pot and tipped the dealer two big bets. Prock then sits down in Old Bear's vacated seat and the game proceeds to get nutty. He bets to the end with trips in second best Omaha and I luck into raking a huge pot. We play late into the night when Prock, BD, Yo and I head to the nugget for food. The experience was surreal in that I was incoherently drunk but am sure the drink waiter was incapable of understanding my order but it wasn't my fault. Our food server was spot on and could understand me. I felt like I was in bizarro world. I could have hallucinated it but I don't think so. To add to the fey nature, Grapes, Kenny Shei and eventually Bill Chen wander in and join us. I''m pretty confused and make an ass of myself trying to make small talk. Doug Grismore, David Low and others are a few tables away but it doesn't register until I get up to leave. I sleep well past noon. I feel great! I don't know how but I'm not hungover. Head downtown with Jepstonian, BronzeDodger and Yo to check out the Aria. We feast at pub and I drink my first beer that is in a yard format. I now want all beverages to come in yards. We check out the Monte Carlo poker room and try and get some dealer's choice going but are forced to sit a a 2-4 limit game. I proceed to r00l the table busting tourist after tourist. A sweet French couple starts out with us and privately discuss what drunken louts we are, not realizing I speak french. I'm feeling cocky and after I bust them a second time, as they get up to leave, I told them they played well and better luck next time - in french of course. I say my goodbyes to BD and VQ and Jepsen drops me off at the nugget and I make my way back to the 4Qs. I stop to watch the craps table (just watch!) and see an older Japanese man throw ace, deuce, 5 times in a row!!! There is a cackling chinese man at the end of the table making a mint off progressive craps bets. Sense wins out and I head to bed, running into Fold'em who decries being unable to lose the ADBers last longer stakes. I taxi to the airport and score the upgrade to business class going home. I. Love. Barge.