Date: Thu, 06 Aug 2009 12:28:34 -0700 From: "David S. Heller" Subject: Re: [BARGE] Winnah Winnah Chicken Dinnah Wednesday morning - The Trip. My airplane arrived early - Yay, Alaska. I then wasted all the fun-times time I had saved, by waiting in line at the rental car place. It took almost an hour, and the line wasn't even that long. Boo, Advantage Rentacar. I found out why it was taking so long when I got to the front of the line. This woman was grilling me like I wanted to date her daughter. Name, address, ID, credit card, phone number, alternate phone number, alternate alternate phone number, where am I staying, where am I planning on driving it, employer...At some point I started grunting and shrugging in response to her questions. Might as well practice my poker face. Like I'm gonna steal your freakin' Dodge POS, lady, especially when you had me sign a disclosure that it contains a s00per sekrit GPS. Wednesday - Binion's Anyway, finally got the car, hit the road, got to Binion's. No traffic. What's wrong with Vegas? Anyway, my room's not ready. Luggage to the Bellguy, and ... THE POKER ROOM IS EMPTY! What the pluck? I start wandering around the casino looking for someone I know. From experience I know that the key to finding the ARGE crowd is to spot Patti B's hair, but I can't see it anywhere. I do eventually find the new and improved poker room, which is *far* from empty. I get my BARGE badge, walk around greeting friends, and then sit down to watch and chat with the players in a Chinese Poker game. Now there's a game I almost sort of understand. Sort of. Asya was there; she has lost weight and looks good. (This was a common theme this past week - the incredible shrinking BARGErs). JP was there, too, and DanN. We talked about some old times and we drank ourselves some beers, still crazy after all these years... Eventually I got into a 2-4 hold-em game and lost some money. Then I got into the now-infamous dealer's choice game, and lost a lot more money, for all the usual reasons, like suckouts, riverrats, and I stink at poker, ESPECIALLY quasi-Omaha games like "Oklahoma". Here's a song someone should sing at next year's Karaoke: Ooooooooklahoma where the cards come sweeping down the felt. And the river treys, took my hand away, As the pot goes to the man who dealt! Oh, well. Finally my room was ready. 612, like the bug repellent, which I guess worked because I saw no multi-legged creatures there. Conveniently near the elevator for those late-night sleepwalks to the room. Wednesday - Lowbah Wednesday evening was the Lowbah tournament. I don't know why I play in this every year. Social, I guess. I feel no pressure because I have no idea what I'm doing. I play badly *and* I have bad luck, so IGH early. I had like 5 1-card wheel draws. One I hit and nobody called my bet. The others, I painted or paired. I saw the bug exactly one time, but it was the odd card out on 2 pair. Ah, low-hand poker. Thursday - CHORSE CHORSE team MPN had its s00per sekrit breakfast meeting and strategy session. In fact it was so s00per sekrit that only 2 of us showed up, me and Capt. Zbigniew. So we had breakfast. By this time I had my Binion's comp card working so breakfast was on the house. Off to CHORSE, where as usual I played the razz leg. Since I didn't have Ploink at my table to donk off my chips to this year, I did well the first rounds, winning most of the hands I played. I did lose a hand to Marlin Cohen, who cold-called my re-raise as the bring-in, with his King of Diamonds showing, and then proceeded to suck out on two opponents. I repeat the mantra "I am a losing player and a powerful sucking force surrounds OTHERS". One of the things I like about CHORSE is that there's a lot of down time to talk to many old friends. Another Amazing Shrinking Person I saw there was Tina "Dilligaf". At the start of the last round, we were in the money. But our team just got stomped the last round and we wound up down. Thursday - Binion's craps That was it for my BARGE tournament Thursday, because I sure as heck wasn't playing the Stud Shootout, so I wandered around that afternoon, seeing and greeting old friends and playing a little hold'em. I also walked up and down Fremont looking for a decent blackjack game. (Binion's now has INdecent blackjack games, with bikini-clad dealers who alternate as go-go dancers - but I digress). The scariest thing I saw all weekend was in Fitzgerald's, a 6:5 blackjack game being dealt *out of a shoe*. The horror, the horror....I even walked as far down as the El Cortez, where I've never been before. Even in broad daylight that's a sketchy area - I got accosted by a beggar, to whom I gave the stock reply "Casino took all my money". Back to Binion's where I find Bingo and Jester (another miniature version of himself, but in his case it's been a year now) and they took me to shoot craps. I mostly watched and tried to understand all the complicated bets. It was kind of funny to hear Bingo telling me "such-and-such is a really bad bet" just before he threw two chips out and made the bet "two ways". All the bets I made, I lost. Shoulda bet with Jester instead of with Bingo, huh? But I did hear someone actually yell "Winnah winnah chicken dinnah" immediately after making a point. Someone told me that Stations had a good buffet, so I walked over there for a late dinner. On the way I saw Russ Fox and a few others, eating ice cream. I was good and restrained and didn't get any ice cream. Dinner was chicken and steamed broccoli in abundance. Yes, I, too have lost weight - about 10 pounds before BARGE, about 7 pounds when I returned home. Not in the same league as some, but... Anyway, I am living mathematical proof that Vegas is not the place to diet. My buffet was essentially free. As I was waiting in line a very nice woman came up to me and asked if I wanted a half-price dinner. I said sure. She had 4 comp tickets and a party of 3. But then she just bought the dinners and wouldn't take my money, despite my insisting. What I finally did though, as I was leaving, was walk to her table and drop some bucks on it, saying, "OK, that is to tip your waitress", and leaving before they could stop me. A run-by second-hand toking. Friday - Binion's poker, Symposium Friday was more hanging around, more poker-playing. Friday evening was the symposium. There was enough food this year, which was nice. Our syndicate just didn't get its act together this year, with both Un and Bill Chen absent. So I did what I suspect many non-syndicate members have done. I stayed until I knew who had bought me, bought myself back, and then wandered off. I wasn't in the mood for karaoke, so eventually I went off to the strip. Friday - Gonna Take A Sentimental Journey... I parked at TI, and watched the show - I liked the old pirate battle better, but the price was right. I walked over to the Venetian to pay a visit to the scene of my greatest triumph and my greatest defeat in poker - my 2nd place finish in BARGE 2003. There were people in the high-limit poker area that I probably would have recognized if I watched more TV. That is still a niiiiice poker room. Then I walked along the strip, watched the Mirage volcano, walked to Bellagio for a fountain show, and then walked back to TI and my car. Time for bed. Saturday - The Main Event I overslept and then had a slow waitress for breakfast. I was almost late for the beginning of the tournament. I crashed the party of Bulbert and Super K for breakfast. I learned that the reason my past-years' comps had disappeared was because they were still in a book at the poker room. So eventually I went over there and reclaimed them. $70 worth! Ding! I felt short-stacked for most of the tournament. I won some pots, I lost some pots, but those blinds kept creeping up. Every time I calculated my "M" it seemed it was between 5 and 7. I just kept surviving, looking for spots, winning here and there. Mad Mary and I were all in against each other numerous times, but the smaller stack won every time and we both survived to the money. Eventually, at some point in the afternoon, I realized that we were running out of people. My stack was below average but it wasn't awful. It dawned on me that I was going to make the money. And I did. They came around with the now-standard "$200 save deal" where they take $200 off 1st prize, extend it to 19th place, and suddenly "everyone is in the money". I was thinking "this doesn't really do me any good, because I'm not about to go out anyway, but it only hurts the winner, and it's BARGE, so what the heck..." Little did I know. Down to 2 tables, pushing chips around, people being cautious, trying to move up. If I had had a big stack I might have been able to do some stealing, but I didn't have a big stack. I just waited and watched and picked my spots. Eventually it was down to 9. I had made the final table! But I had the smallest stack there. I had 16K. Some people had 5 times as much. So I went off to dinner feeling no pressure at all. I called my wife and told her I had made the final table, and probably would be out in 9th place because I was so far behind everyone else. She said "I have faith in you." The food was decent. Nice was great. Nick, for a math/computer guy you are one hell of a public speaker. I was truly impressed. You hit just the right note in remembering those we lost this past year. I remembered to bring my ancient copy of Super/System and Doyle Brunson signed it. Nolan did a good interview and it was a joy to hear Doyle Brunson's stories "from the horse's mouth". And yes, for those who weren't there, I got to ask the poker question that has plagued me all these years - what the pluck is that "/" doing between Super and System? Back to the game. JP Massar was on my right and Bruce ADB Bigboy Kramer was on my left. Not a happy place for me. My first goal was to survive the first orbit. Between the blinds and the antes I was going to have to find a hand and shove. So I did. And no one called. Ahh Ahh Ahh Ahh stayin' alive, stayin' alive... I had some good luck, sucking out a few times when I was all in as the underdog. Others did the same. In fact, Bruce was crowing about the horseshoe he owned...until he began lamenting the fact that I seemed to have taken it from him. "Call me Houdini" I said. But the truth is there is open luck and there is hidden luck. People could see my good luck when a favorable board saved me from elimination. But what people didn't see was my bad luck, like when I raised with AA or AKs and no one called. Those acting after me on those hands thought they had bad luck to have had such weak cards that they had to fold, but in reality they had good luck they didn't have calling hands. In those cases, I was the unlucky one. The first hour or so of the final table, I don't think anyone was eliminated. Raises were rarely called, and every all-in was won by the shorter stack. I gradually decided that some people were waiting for me, the short stack, to bust out so they could move up a notch, before getting down to business. But with no chips there wasn't much I could do except keep stayin' alive, stayin' alive. My first goal has been to survive the first orbit. After I did that, my next goal was to make it to 8th place - I decided it would be a moral victory to go to the final table so short-stacked and yet not be eliminated first. Once I was in 8th place, my next goal was to make 5th place, where the money began to be real. Gradually people started to drop out. James was gone, then the other David, then JP, then Ben, who also had fought back well with a shorter stack. Kudos to Ben. So now I'm in 5th place, and I realize it is possible that I could win this thing. I take out Corey with an A7. Fourth. More chip movement, more escapes. It seems that the weaker hand keeps winning. Kenny Shei plays very well, but he can't catch a break and eventually I take him out when K7 beats KJ with a 7 on the board. Third. And now I'm thinking I I am going to win this thing. I take out Bruce. Second. And now it's Brenda and me and I think I have her more than 2:1 in chips. Saturday - Winnah Winnah Chicken Dinnah We fence around for a bit. She jams and I call and she wins with another of those late lucky 7s. She is closer now. We fence around a bit more. I raise, she folds. She raises, I fold. Then Nick comes over and puts a signed Super System 2 (notice - no "/" now?) on the table, to go to the winner of the next pot. I look at QT. Good enough to shove here, and I do. Brenda calls with A7, so she is ahead but not too much. The wonderful wonderful wonderful dealer gives me a beautiful, gorgeous, sexy QUEEN!!!!!! And I am the champion. In 2006 I came in second. It just about broke my heart. There is so much luck in a poker tournament, I never thought I would have another chance to get that close. I was just in shock after that bustout in 2006. This time, it all felt surreal. And this time I came from a distant 9th all the way to 1st. The circle closes and life is good. Saturday - Aftermath Some weird guy who sounds like Apu comes up and wants me to give him my entry into the Playboy tournament, because he is local and I am not. Say what? I try to brush him off but it isn't working, so I give him Kenny's bustout gift, a lollipop with a scorpion in it. (Sorry, Kenny, but I don't eat scorpions and I wanted to give this one a good home). Apu actually thanks me for this gift and leaves me alone after that. I go outside and call my wife, who doesn't answer her cell phone. So I leave this message: "I won I won I won I won the whole freakin' thing!" I come back inside, wandering around in a bit of a daze. People are congratulating me. I finally remember to get my trophy and my winnings. The Symposium group that bought me gives me some money - I have no idea whether the amount is correct, but it's plausible. I go to the cage to cash in my chips, and that takes a while. Then I wander around the poker room some more and and speak to more people. I am invited to play in various reindeer games, but my brain is fried and I just can't. This must be the first BARGE where I played no Chowaha. Finally I go up to bed. I have a morning airplane to catch. So I pack, and I move my car from the valet to the parking garage so I can make a quick getaway, and I sleep for a few hours, then get up, eat breakfast, and go. Sunday - Homecoming I miss my exit for the airport but figure it out and circle back. UseLessAir doesn't even serve peanuts; I have a nosebleed and deal with the singularly unhelpful flight attendants, but it stops. Home again, home again, jiggity jig. Thanks to Nick, Mick, Peter, Chuck, and Nolan. Thanks to everyone at the final table for being gracious, especially Bruce and Brenda. BEST BARGE EVAH. P.S. Over the past few days I have come up with so many ideas for BARGE chip designs that I'm not even sure where to begin. If anyone has any brilliant suggestions, e-mail me privately.