From: David Kluchman Date: Wed, 5 Aug 2009 18:07:56 -0400 Subject: [BARGE] StoneDonkey Barge Trip Report Warning this is not short. Last year I wrote a real mini report and way way over-compensated this year. Read it when you can't get to sleep, skim whi= le you are flossing, or skip as you like. For those wisely choosing the latter courses, I just want to state my special, special top-line thanks to Goldie= , Jazzlover, SmalltalkDan and Sharonwifeypoo, Ronsrants, oldbear, Chaos, Davi= d and Caryl, Warren, Bart, James H and Gerald, Nick and Peter and Mick. Ahhh poker is nice... *The first suckout is just getting to get there* In a way the whole 2009 BARGE was one big glorious suckout for us. We reall= y wanted to go, but without work for me and a slow-down for Chris, these are tight times for us as they are for many. In the home game I now host with a lot of long-time ARGers (Crunch, Dan Nussbaum, Ed Baker, Warren, DavidK - original flavor, DaveT, Ming and a bunch of new comers) many are laid off= , under-employed, looking for work, going back to school and so on. Chris was very flattered by getting a recruiting call from Lynsy Higgs of Team PMS, and after winning the 2008 SO Stud Tourney she was very game to return as a= n "experienced virgin." Anyway, while it was not going to make the difference in eating or paying the mortgage, it just seemed like very bad timing to make a gambling trip. However I did manage to schedule a free ff reservatio= n on Delta (upside to big balance and many points on credit card) just in case, and then learned about BUTKISS, the Goldie managed fund. With BUTKISS taking half our combined $645 tourney action, the free flight, some wanglin= g with both GN deals and price-line, commitment to using comp $$ at Binions snack-bar we had a pretty cheap budget for a lot of fun - score! * The next suckout is cheapest (sung to the tune...)* Double bonus suckout: for the whole month or so before I actually ticketed our flight, it was always FEWER miles on Delta for any BOS-LAS itinerary to book in first class (45K miles min), than in coach (50K miles min), would rather have got a 25K miles ticket and saved the miles for trip with kids next year, but oh well there is always camping.... *I annoy Nick* I register both of us on the last day (last hours actually) and find, as usual, I had not entirely met my wife's expectations. 1) She wanted a nickname and 2) she wanted to follow up her 2008 SO Stud feat and play the "open field" stud tourney. I had originally not enrolled in Stud bc of wanting to limit tourney entry $$ and bc I wanted to go to the Goldman Smoker. But with the BUTKISS backing, the marginal outlay for the stud tourney was not that bad for us (if not for Goldie...) and besides we could go over to the Smoker after we both busted out early as would be inevitable (things didn't work out so well on this, see more on this below). So about half an hour after registering I am writing Nick an email asking how I can change my registration online and telling him what I want to do. Well these things cannot be changed online as it turns out (*cough, anyone know any good web-it-programmer types?...cough*), so Nick will have to do i= t by hand... I find out later that Patrick Milligan had to talk Nick down fro= m changing my name tag to something like "Stupid Phucker Who Changes Everything On Registration At Last Minute" (my partial paraphrase). Patrick patiently explains that this will not in-fact FIT on the name tag and while an acronym like SPWCEORALM will fit he quietly just puts on the requested names of SharkBait (her) and StoneDonkey (me). We also write Nick a separat= e check for the Stud tourney (and eventually even mail it...) * Tuesday, Arrival Day (only one bad beat).* The fights from Boston via Atlanta are relatively uneventful logistics-wise though there is a lot of turbulence on one of the leg, which has me, for th= e first time ever, making sure that the seat back pocket in front of me does in fact have its special little white bag in place. We manage to touch down on time without any kind of "gastro-singularity" event however and are thrilled to get calls from both must-be-first-Warren and the Aronsons sayin= g they have touched down a little early and are already at the car rental facility and are happy to give us a ride. Score! We meet Caryl A at baggage claim while David circles in the car and wait for the baggage carrousel to start churning. And we wait=85and we wait. Finally the baggage leviathan churns and someone= 's bag plops out. 20-30 seconds later another and then like Chinese water torture clockwork every 20 seconds another bag emerges. It seems like there must be one baggage handler walking out to the plane itself and carrying each bag one at a time to the baggage facility. And so it goes ad infinitum until ours are the last three bags to be born a full 90 minutes after we have landed. What one was a healthy 2-hour window to make the Courchevel tourney has dwindled to 20 minutes. The Aronsons are very kind about waiting for us and despite the lateness we have a jolly ride to the Nugget in the record setting July 28 heat. *Tuesday, Courchevel Tourney* Excited about the week ahead and a little worn from a day of travel after little sleep I do not focus well at the Courchevel tourney usually neglecting to look at the unusual up-card before the "pre-flop" betting= . I go out somewhere in the upper I think, but don't really remember. In fact= it is probably a symptomatic sign of my state of mind that I can't recall a single hand other than the last one from the whole tourney. Tina Dilligaf busts me when I flop the nut straight and flush redraw , bet out and she re-pots be with top and bottom pair (K5) and better flush draw (I think). W= e get it all in and the river brings the case five. Good night Irene=85 *Wednesday- Food, food and non-BARGE tourneys* *Egg and I* is great, though next year if this treat is offered again, I will return to egg's Benedict. Chris and I both play the noon Fitzgerald tourney where I take third for a nice little cash. We go to end of the poke= r discussion group at the *Binion's Coffee Shop* and enoy the hand analysis= . As usual, I can't help but participate fully. More good food (for those o= f us who like this kind of thing) at the *Ethiopian* outing. I think it is here that Jeff "BronzeDozer" and I discuss the possibility of forming a shaved heads CHORSE team next year (Team Cue Ball, Team Chrome Dome?) thinking that not only would we look super great, but might possibly make money with the likes of Dan G, Randy, Marlin, Dan (or any) Chervie. I am not playing lowbah as I can't in good conscience take butkiss money = on this no matter how public spiritedly the purpose is, so I enter the deep stack 6 pm at Binon's. Good choice. I take first. The tourney lasts 7 hou= rs and is three handed for 45 minutes and head's up for about an hour with a very good local "pro". Though was against all the other proposals for c= hops from others when we are evenly stacked and don't have a lot of play left = he proposes a chop of first and second money. I get the t-shirt he gets an entry to a future Binion's free roll. Yea!. I am two for three in cashes = for the trip (if I can just avoid other BARGErs..). *Thursday is a busy day!* Wake up to late to make *Fructer's cabana party* before *CHORSE* starts. = The two DV8 CHORSE teams manage a significant improvement over last years Virgi= n performance by many of the same folk by only losing SOME of their money. I play the Stud orbits as no one else really wants too. I am seated at the same table as my wife Chris, she and Matt Ivester take turns beating me up. I am looking forward to getting my ass kicked again in the evening stud tourney where I plan on getting to fourth street a little less often. *I Love Sushi with Asya* is great again. Though I don't enjoy "Tastes l= ike my ex girlfriend" as much as I remember (to much oily sauce) I do like something with a name like "burns a hole in your stomach" and sushi "= nachos" and of course the company. *Stud Shootout =96 My biggest Highlight* I sit down to the Stud Shootout to find Lauria and Patti at my table. Oh goodie, I get to make the Goldman Smoker for sure! All my plans are foiled when I get hit so hard with the deck that my big decisions are to value bet seventh or just check. After I keep showing the goods for a while I can eve= n start betting hands it looks like I have but don't. Lauria and Patti are pretty card dead, though Patti lasts longer than is comfortable, but I manage to win my table well ahead of all the others and wait an hour and a half for the others to finish. I watch Sayble's table for a while and thi= nk I pick up something useful that I use later. Though it takes forever to start and I am feeling kinda beat, the final picks up where the first table finished when I take first hand by(value calling Chich's missed draw on seventh with Queens and eights and getting another call from apparently unimproved aces. Next hand I get rolled fours that don't improve but are good enough. These two hands are good enough t= o see me make a terrible mistake a while later then some special "Chick stylings" immediately following. I am calling down after fourth with an o= pen ended straight and then flush draw. I "get" my straight on sixth but ju= st call as I am now convinced the aggressor "Mike Pigmy Hippo" had rolled = Kings and could fill on seventh (I know bad, bad) At show-down I find that I am half right; he does in fact have rolled kings, and they did not improve, however I DON'T have a straight (9-Q). Its not that I thought I had a K o= r an 8, I just momentarily have a brain fart and think 9-Q is one of those stock straights like 7-J. I must be more tired than I think. I provides muc= h mirth for the table who are now wondering just how I got this far at all (like how did I find my way from the hotel room to Binion's). So feeling just a tad chagrinned, I am playing somewhat passively a hand or two later when I get. Chicked (Chiched?) on seventh. I "value call" his Kings up= bet with my Aces up only for us both to discover that he spiked the case King o= n the last down card (unknown to him). Surprisingly after that I start to play better. I am not getting so many great hands, so entering somewhat fewer pots, but doing so more aggressively. Losing some but winning more. Things go well for me and at around 3:30 AM I win most of the chips on the table when Cliff Deadhead and I are heads-up with 55 vs. Ace high (something like 87655xx against AKQxxx= x ). Two hands later I have a BARGE trophy to hold. Happy Happy Joy Joy. I ge= t back to the hotel room ready to "celebrate" with Chris. She congratulat= es me and tells me to go to sleep. Happy boy is 3 for 4 in cashes with two firsts= . Poker is nice.. *Friday =96TOC and Karaoke* Nothing to see here-just keep moving, can't even really remember any hand= s though there was a woman whose name I don't know at my starting table. Sh= e looks a little bit like Mrs Clause. She smiles very sweetly. She calls ever= y bet and wins every pot, especially in Stud ("MY" game). She calls my r= aise with an Ace door card and all my four flush bets down to the river with a three-bring-in-door-card. I bet the river as it is the only way I can win this pot and she calls with A PAIR OF THREEES! "Wow" I say "nice call= " (and mean it.. sorta). Fortunately I turn my hand up to show the missed flush draw rather than mucking it to discover that I made pair of nines on the en= d and get the pot. She looked into my soul and saw nothing and knew she could call. Unfortunately, I didn't know what I had so her soul reading skills where foiled. Nothing good happens after this and finally I am about all in with an ace door card on third and Jester calls with Jk9. Bad things happen= . Karaoke is amusing for a little while and we are impressed withLeslie Walker's Pat Benatar impersonation and Asya's Divynls "I wanna touch myself". Not so impressed with "the song with all the unintentionally syncopated cowbells. Chris is not drinking at all and I am not drinking enough to last more than an hour, so we never get to sing our song for the McLibtards =96 "Back in the USSR". *Saturday =96 NLNE Main Event * On the second hand of the big tourney semi bluff away =BE of my stack when = I raise near the button with 9Ts, flop open ended and overs and turn a flush draw and fire all three bullets against Cheverie's pair. He calls me dow= n and I feel foolish. I then get lucky in a couple spots and make a comeback and then start running over people with an extended LAG spasm. Len G is on my right and so card dead he enters one pot every 45 minutes or so and everyone folds (especially when Un remarks on this fact to Len's annoyanc= e). I am "forced" to make a call on Un when I raise with 88 and he pushes w= ith JJ and it is too little for me to fold. My two outer comes on the flop and = I am festooned with McDonald land dolls and Un's licnese plate (AKQJ 11?). = I also get revenge for last's elimination by Oldbear when he shoves on me a= nd I wake up with AA I almost make the final table but bust out in12th when in 3 hands I must fold my late position raise with JTs to a JP push, my shove runs into aces (of a smaller stack), and I am just about all in the BB and someone has JJ. Still it is another cash (4/6 at that poin, end up 5/7 with 3 firsts on trip =96wooot!). *Banquet is great.* Drink wiskey sours. Use Chris' tickets, drink more whiskey sours. I think Nick sets just the right tone. I love the line when revealing the Doyles room free roll that it will pay for a free BARGE "bu= t not Dan Goldman's BARGE". I laugh so much, Chris moves the last of my whiskey sour away. Doyle is entertaining and kindly accomadating to us all. He signs my copies of *Super-System* and *Super System 2 *and I take advantage of photo op. *Sunday-Monday (video poker is nice..)* Sunday, I play the Playboy tourney on behalf of Dave. Amazed that with 8 BARGErs including Lauria, Marlin, Sharon, Ron G, Bart and three locals when it is down to 5 all the locals (two of whom are terrible) are left. Chris and I have dinner at the Binion's Coffee Shop with Rodney using comp $$. Take advantage of the "specials" I have the prime rib. I oder it "med= ium rare" and it comes half way over cooked and half bloody raw. Never seen anything quit like it. I eat it and enjoy it anyway. Play cash =BD NL in Bionon's poker room and make money after Rodney leaves=85 Monday we check out of GN at noon and I play some more cash =BD until the 2= :00 Binon's tourney. I get to knock out Un again get first. I get my 4-6thBinion's/BARGE t-shirt/polo shirts when Paul graciously consents to give me 2 extra so all the kids can have the same. We go to Dan and Sharon's for a very very nice BARGE after-party dinner. Bart is very kind is picking us up at the GN (and then driving us to McCarren later). Smoke a nice cigar. Sharon tells many funny stories. Try unsuccessfully to convince Nick to keep Stud and drop lowbah next year. We get to the airport with lots of time to before our 12:45 AM flight and after all the bag checking, security whooo-ha and tram ride we find a couple"Not-So-Ugly (?Chris would know) Deuces Wild" machine near our ga= te. Chris has been corrupted by Patrick and other BARGER's into VP over the preceding week and has strategy cards and everything. I have never actually pushed a button but watched her a little. I put $10 in a machine that happens to have 25 cents selected as it's default. On my first pull I select my discards rather than my keep cards (a pair). Oops. On my second pull I get two deuces and a bunch of junk, so I draw three and woooooot I get four deuces and 1000 credits ( $250)! I cash out. Chris is a mixture of pissed off and happy for me=85mostly pissed off. We get home with some delay in Cinci. Thanks to everyone who makes BARGE so great . We hope to make it back next year again. Anyone coming to Boston that wants to get together, needs a place to stay or is interested in a home game, please give us a call! -- David Kluchman