Date: Tue, 5 Aug 2008 20:10:39 -0700
From: Rodney Chen
Subject: [BARGE] Vitam regit fortuna, non sapientia

Some of what you are about to read is true.

Tuesday.

I am on my way to the airport.  Averaging about 4 hours of sleep per day 
before BARGE so I'm already acclimated to the sleep schedule required for 
the upcoming week.  Plane is late.  I'm working right up until they throw 
me in the tin can, notice Zbig is on the same flight.  After I get into 
LAS, I see Zbig and Eileen at baggage claim, would have offered rides but 
I had to get to Summerlin and Henderson before heading downtown.

The bad: Getting tunneled on the way to my rental car.  
The good: Not waiting in a line 20 deep in order to get going.  Yay Hertz 
Gold.

After running some errands I'm at the Red Rock for some lunch.  Pass by 
the Bingo room there.  Wait.  Bingo room.  Seating Capacity: 610.  
Keerist.

Go to the Bellagio.  Buy in, win money.  Easy peasy.  Notice the chips 
have changed.  Oh crap.  The chips have changed.  Ask the dealer when this 
happened.  Ask dealer followup question on if it's just the lower 
denominations.  The dealer thinks it's only the poker room chips.

I walk out to the craps table.  All changed.  All the way up.  I'd have a 
Nolan Dalla moment, but I don't think my friends and I have anything more 
than blacks at this time.

(additional poker content here has been redacted)

NL Shootout.

The only memorable hand of note is that I get Presto and go all in 
pre-flop against Dan Goldman's 8s.  He's immediately resigned to the 
suckout and flings his hand at the muck before the flop casually spikes a 
5.

Chinese Poker.

I thought about it.  50 fun with royalties against Gavin Smith, Grapes, 
and Warren.  Before I get a chance Spencer 2.0 wanders over with bills and 
proceeds to set a royalty hand.

Binglaha.

A few moments later the Binglaha game is called.  Gavin, Ploink, Nolan, 
Warren, Dan, Chic, Spencer 2.0 to start.  The die is some monstrosity that 
can't stay on the table.  I start bitching it's too big.  Gavin is not 
happy with the rolling rules or the fact the buyin is capped at $500 this 
night.  First hand.  1-2-5-10-15-20-25-30.  Dealer is adjusting to the 
fact all the straddles are live.  Gavin probably pops it 9 out of the 
first 10 hands to build a pot and get his stack in a position to cover all 
the other stacks.  A real die shows up eventually.

The bad: I donate my buyin #1 to Nolan as he flops a bigger boat.
The bad^2: I donate my 2nd stack to Gavin and Spencer 2.0 when neither my 
  nut flush or low get there.  
The good: I suckout against Gavin to recover a good chunk of those 
  donations.  
The bad^3: If I didn't have to drive to the crashpad and get the new house 
  key I'd be r00lin more.

Wednesday.

Egg & I.  Thanks Ice.

No BJ or VP for me.  I'm working from the crashpad for most of the day, 
also starting the upload of pictures taken for Team Pussy.

Lobah.

The good: I pretty much cripple Gavin Smith to take the chip lead.  
The bad: Gavin Smith busts.  I quickly spew chips afterwards and bust.  

Gavin, thanks for letting me last another 30 minutes, because I sux at 
lobah.

Karaoke.

Somehow I have a reputation with a camera, because I get asked by a lot of 
folks if I was taking pictures.  I have boundries, young men and women.

Un pulls out a guitar in the hallway.  I throw two chips in the case. I 
know how he plays p0cker.

The remainder of the night involves multiple women.

Story #1: (additional content has been censored for your protection,
  the visuals may result in permanent eye damage)
Story #2: (additional content is currently subject to a gag order by
  the Clark County courts until trial dates are set)
Story #3: (additional content will be released by my lawyer if 
  anything happens to me)
Story #4: (additional content will be 'forgotten' upon 'performance',
  e-mail me for arrangements)

Thursday.

I violate the Second Law of Patti and I'm headed downtown from the 
crashpad to get a tour of the Neon Boneyard.  Sign a photography release 
and join a few others on the tour of the boneyard.  If you're into 
history, or if you want to shoot photos, get over here by 2009 because 
tey're going to open a museum and you won't be able to get as close to 
the signs again.  It's already over 100 degress outside.  Three people 
disappear during the tour, never to be heard from again.

Team CHORSE.

Wow.  What a fire hazard of a poker room.  Oh wait, it's our fault. 

2/4 at the GN.

I get bored and sit down at a 2/4 game, trying to lose $100 as fast as 
possible.  I fail.  I raise every hand for an entire rotation.  I win 
chips.  Damn it.  I finally leave the game having successfully giving the 
rest o the table their RDA of fiber, because before I sat down it was all 
a buncha constipated rocks.

I <3 Sushi.  Thanks Asya & Ben.  I'm a sake luddite and I was glad to 
apply my lightweight genes to some good stuff.

Stud Shootout.

My lawyer is forwarding the BARGE organizers documentation supporting my 
petition for Conscientious Objector Status under moral and ethical 
grounds.

Omaha.

There's a local at the table!  I proceed to assist in the mutual 
destruction of said local with very bad scoops.  I saw a pullstring on the 
back of him that has about 5 set curse phrases for us. Pinky swear.

Friday.

I finally am checked into Binions so it's an upstairs walk rather than a 
20 mile drive to the crashpad.

ToC.

Chic Chicing Fruchter.  Jacks full of fours.  On top of that, he had the 
exact same hand later that night.  It was those blue glasses. Those flower 
decorations mean nothing.  I will be opening a CafePress store with 
T-shirts..."SCHMENGIES NOT SHENANIGANS".  Proceeds from the sale will go 
to Russ Georgiev to assist with the investigation of the casino tapes.

The bad: I'm 19th.  It pays 18.
The bad^2: I cash.  The $ means nothing to me because...
The good: Watching 17 say 'Yes' to a deal, 1 says 'Present'.  

   IN YO FACE 77.

The good^2: It means Chic is now the money bubble.  I mock!!!!1

Symposium.

I'm such a degenerate.  I have no syndicate.  I snipe a horse.  MINE MINE 
MINE.

BREST/BOT.

You see an open seat.  As you go around the table, you see Spencer 2.0, 
JP, TT, Grapes, Jerrod, and Michelle.  I do what no other BARGER did and 
sat down at this game.  The only reason you are not a pussy at this point 
is that you're in the Binglaha game with Action Bob, or you were going 
with Patti to the Power Exchange soft opening.

NO OTHER EXCUSES WILL BE ACCEPTED.  YOU WILL RECEIVE AN F FOR THIS 
ASSIGNMENT AND AN ENTRY WILL BE MADE ON YOUR PERMANENT RECORD.

I wonder who the softie is.  Please don't squeeze the Charmin.

I was up at this game.  Spencer 2.0 drawing to a steel wheel twice was the 
problem.  Not game selection.  Really.

Saturday.

More like late Friday night.  I'm firing someone.  700 miles away.  
Enough of Real Life[tm].  On the elevator ride up so I can shut off that 
person's access a hooker shows me a black chip and asks me which casino 
it's from.  Classic.

"A lifetime to learn and a minute to master." - My Corollary

Sit.  Steal blinds.  Table breaks.  Sit.  Steal blinds.  Table breaks.  
Sit.  Steal blinds x 2.  Table breaks.  Okay, what kind of table image can 
I convey if I keep moving?  Steal blinds.  Bust Un and a few others.  
Horses are still live after 2/3rds of the field are toast.

--
"I think I've told you this before." - Leonard

(bonus points if you enjoyed this movie, ladies)

I bust out of the NLH tournament after going card dead in the ante rounds, 
around 3:45. Google Maps has a Ritz Camera location listed in the Meadows 
Mall, which is about 4 miles away.  I run up to the room, grab the flash 
card and start driving over there, hoping there wouldn't be a backlog of 
photos to be printed so it can make the banquet.  Get to the mall, walk 
in, look at the directory.

No Ritz Camera.

Argh.  Left my laptop in the room, so I couldn't look up other locations 
online, so I call 411.  I'm transferred over to the one roughly Ft. Apache 
and Tropicana, which the locals know is in BFE compared to where I was.  
They suggest the location near Sahara and Decatur, which is right next to 
the Egg & I.  Show up, stick the flash card in for uploading to their 
printrs and...

It's the wrong flash card.

Argh x 2.  It's 4:30, and if I can't get back there quick, the print run 
won't be ready in time for the banquet.  I violate a few laws of physics 
and after retreiving the laptop from my room, I'm copying 324 pictures at 
80+ mph on I-15. At 6:00 I'm carrying 8 boxes of photos back to downtown.

(memento ends)
--
Banquet.

Math is hard.  I realize that I have 54 square feet of photos and there is 
only part of a 4'x8' table that isn't covered with tableware or booze.  I 
was worried that there would be a lot of folks who wouldn't get their 
pictures, but in the end, I had 90%+ distributed by the time I left on 
Monday.

Tom was good, I actually use most of what he said regarding that switch 
going off, so I had to ask him afterwards when he came up with it.  He 
wins by a few years, otherwise I'd have to get my IP lawyers on him. ;)

Reindeer games.

Much better job this year.  Kudos to the Binion's staff and the improved 
sign-up procedure.  Probably the only thing that could be done better is 
to have maybe 50 bottles of water with a toke cup set aside to get the 
cocktail waitresses going on the real stuff.  It's never going to be 
perfect.

Binglaha.

Watching sux.  Dan, Ploink, Chaz, Sabyl, Spencer 2.0, Sharon and a few 
others were at our table before another one started up.  Sharon goes to 
the other table with Action Bob, Byron, Brian Goetz, Warren, and Michael 
Hunter.  Watched a 2 outer and a 1 outer nail pots that cleared $2k but I 
only manage to scoop a pot here and there.

Sunday.

It's somehow Sunday.  I hear hard banging on the door.  For a minute.  
It's 12:15.  I have to check out by 1.  Guess housekeeping really wants to 
clean my room.  I suck it up and use up my poker room comps at the coffee 
shop, then proceed to r00l 4/8 HORSE.  With foldem's chips.  Un gives a 
chunk back after I let him play a couple hands under the glare of his wife 
then I give a bit more back after I lose a pot.  A few hands later I'm 
removed when foldem walks back over after finishing his conversation and 
folds his hand for me.

For the Locals.

I finish uploading the final batch of pictures, then head over to Del 
Frisco's Double Eagle Steak House.  It's almost a must stop on any trip I 
take to Vegas.  Even though it's stuck on Paradise row a block away from 
Morton's, Lawry's, and Ruth's Chris it really does a piece of dead cow 
justice.  I don't eat steak at other places anymore.

The other stop I make on Monday is Wonder Sushi.  It's another 2 exits 
down the 215 to Henderson from the I Love Sushi run but only a block north 
of the freeway.  The owner rides the supply chain from one of the Hilton 
hotels and the quality of the sushi will clobber most places.  The 
atmosphere, and non-sushi food is closer to average but you can't beat 
$21-25 for all you can eat good sushi (if available they limit you to 1 
order of stuff like amaebi/uni/toro) and a large roll selection.

In the Special Edition Release.

Extra #1 - foldem going nuts when I ask him for a blue chip and I hand him 
  a bill telling him my horse had cashed.

Extra #2 - Getting Nolan to bust out laughing when I hear a multi-way all 
  in a few tables down and I'm yelling to hold the game up while the ESPN 
  cameras get over there.

Extra #3 - In the unrated version, a round table discussion on who has the 
  best BARGE ass.  You'll be surprised what the consensus is.

Thanks Chuck, Peter, Nick, and Michael for another successful year.

Rodney