Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2006 14:25:22 -0700 (PDT) From: Ken Kubey Subject: QB's 2006 BARGE Trip Report The story of my eleventh BARGE. "Downtown, where all the lights are bright." Wednesday, August 16th. ----------------------- We are driving down. I want to leave at 10 a.m. I tell Sandi and Kristina that I want to leave at 8 a.m. My R00LING angle almost works as we are on the road promptly at 10:30 a.m. Mad-libs, Car bingo, Harris Ranch, Baker thermometer. Stop at Primm. Kris and I go on the Desperado rollercoaster. I love rollercoasters, but I'm getting too old for Desperado. To the Plaza. Check in. $20 room. No, not $20 per night. The value of the room is $20 total. What a dump! peeling wallpaper, bathroom door has to be pushed to get it by the toilet. Beds, TV and shower all work fine. Good enough for me. Also nice to have McDonald's 3 minutes away. We go for the $2.99 Big Shrimp cocktails at the Golded Gate. Even better than I remembered. 99c ones aren't bad either. Thursday, August 17th. ---------------------- Wake up at 5:30 a.m., and head down to the Binion's poker room to meet the DEATH MARCH crew. Kevan Garrett is the first BARGEr I see. He has a big smile on his face and is pretty perky for being up all night. Jerry Peterson arrives. He has been up all night also. David Aronson rounds out the foursome. He drove me to Painted Desert. It is downright cool when we tee off at 6:22 a.m. 3 hours of sleep and having my own clubs helped me shoot my best Death March round in years. I'm going to guess 120. Thankfully the actual scorecard was destroyed. The other guys would hit these beautiful 200 to 250 yard drives once in a while. We took to saying "Boring" after a really nice tee shot. About 10 of my tee shots landed in the white sandy-rocky stuff less that 100 yards from the tee. I did hit some very nice shots from there. Too much practice. heh. David had the best round including a birdie and few pars. Jerry also got a birdie. I'm happy to report that the bird was well enough to continue flying after being hit by a golf ball. No kidding. We all had a good time. Thanks to Kevan for organizing the event and for buying me a beer. David and I hightail it back to the Venetian for CHORSE. Team CHORSE... Hand my $70 to interim team captain Murray. We missed you North Shore. Murray has been drinking. I think his blood-alcohol level was high enough for him to be legally drunk in three states at once. Best line at BARGE: Someone asks Chic a question. Chic: "No, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night..." Laughter all around. I see Frank and Sheri Brabec. We did a shot of Rumplemintz. Old-timers will know what that is about. Connie gives me a dice set. One real pair and one pair that only rolls 7's and 11's. Had fun with it for the next two days until some R00LER told me it was a felony to carry those dice in a casino. Sandi is playing in the S.O. 7-card stud tournament. She hangs on for 3rd place and gets a nice plaque. Her 2nd cash is two BARGE tournaments. I've played in about 25 BARGE poker tournaments and also have cashed twice. Sigh. Talk with the World's #1 female poker player, Sabyl Cohen, about her WSOP adventure. We are getting killed at CHORSE. I jam our last 30 in chips with AJJ9s, get 4 calls. Flop is K-Q-X. Michelle bets, others fold. She has the top pair. I miss everything. Aloha. I have a couple of 7&7's and am almost 1/3 as drunk as Murray. I watch Andrew Prock play a few hands of Chinese Poker. I watch him set a hand. I can't figure out why he is putting a flush in the back. He's going to get scooped for sure. Finally I see that it is a straight flush! Remind me to not drink and play Chinese Poker. At some point, I comment on Andrew's "I Make Stuff Up" T-shirt. He replies. I hear him say something. There is about a 5 second pause here as I'm staring off into the distance. Mind completely blank. I turn back to him and say "Did you say something?" Andrew cracks up. I whip out my pen and paper to try to make sense of this for my trip report (the one you are reading) right now. Remember I'm half in the bag as I'm trying to reconstruct the events and lines. Andrew dictated the following to me... That I "diligently detailed this interaction for my trip report." If you can imagine me slowly slurring "diligently detailed this interaction" as I struggled to write, it's a little more funny. Sushi outing. Sandi drops Kristina and me off at "I Love Sushi." Sandi drives off to buy stuff or gamble or something. There are about 50 BARGErs at one long table. Sabyl and Stephen are to our right, Amy and Chuck are to the left. There's a group of virgins (first time BARGErs) across from us. We have some very good sushi. The best was the avocado covered thing. I think it was called a Cherry Blossom. Big thanks to Asya for organizing this. Someone asks if Kris is my girlfriend. Uh... no. Sandi is my girlfriend. Kris is her daughter. She's 19. I'm 44. Sandi is... uh... 29. Yeah. That's it. Sandi picks us up. We head to a pet store to look at puppies. Kinda fun. They range from $600 to $1100. Yeah, maybe next trip. Next to the Hard Rock Cafe. Kristina is right at home here. She and Sandi are playing slots and I think ordering drinks. I take a wonderful 45 minute nap in the car. Next up is New York, New York. Then the Mandalay Bay, Plaza, McDonald's. Sleep. Friday, August 18th. -------------------- Eat some food in the room. Head down to McDonald's to see if I can find some BARGEr's who are heading over the the Venetian. Once again, it's David Aronson. We have a "fun" time trying to find his car, but eventually get to the Venetian. Time for the TOC-style tournament. I played like crap. Chase, chase, chase. Call, call, call. Out. I R00L Tim Showalter for $2 rolling dice, but let him get it back double or nothing. We are using the dice from Connie. He has the 666222 die, I have the 555555 die. High roll wins. Tim actually made me roll. heh. Rich, Cliff and I go for Chinese food across the way. Later we head up to the hospitality suite. We get lost a couple of times and pick up people on the way. I mention that it's like Dungeons and Dragons. As we finally head down the long corridor toward the suite, someone mentions "You are walking through a narrow passage. There are many doors all alike." heh. Down to the Symposium. Rich, JRX and I have our usual little syndicate. Prices seemed to be about 30% higher this year. Goldie is sitting behind us and he seems to outbid us any time Rich bids. There's one pair that we really want. I tell Rich that I'm heading to the back of the room so that Goldie won't pick us off. I get the high bid in, but Ploink has to mention my name as he accepts my bid. We get outbid and I'm ready to give up. Ploink is urging me to bid once more, but we are over our top price. Prock runs up to me and says "Bid and I'll throw in $10." Oh hell. I bid. We win the pair. Kenny and Harry. They go pretty deep, but neither cashes. Rats. Would have made a great story if we had won hundreds due to Prock. Head over to Main Street with the craps/ADB crowd. Get a ride with Heldar, Prock and Oz, I think. I listen intently to some interesting poker discussion. Bingo (my hero) and I share a cheese steak and a wild mushroom pizza. The pizza is awesome. There was some funny stuff here, but I have no notes. Craps crawl. Start out slow. I'm losing. Down maybe $50. Stephen Markowitz gets the dice. I get a funny feeling that he might have a great roll. I get these feeling all the time playing craps. They are rarely right. Stephen makes seven straight passes include three come-out yo-11's. I have $1 on yo and rake in $45 plus all the pass line wins. Suddenly, I'm up $70. There was probably a $5 hardway in there somewhere. Marlin is two to my right. He calls me "Koo-bee." It's Que-bee. He gets it right. I give him a dollar chip. Later he calls me "Koo-bee" again and I take the chip back. Off to Binion's we go. Stop at the poker room bathroom. Ah, the memories. I've got a good buzz going, Harvey Wallbanger in hand, as I walk through the secret passage way at Binion's to get to the craps table. I note that it's 9:28 p.m. Friday as I my BARGE high pegs. I see the old Big 6 wheel. Gotta play. $1 on $1. Winner! 4th year in a row. Andrew is nearby and thinks I'm an idiot for playing the game. He sit there and watches two spins and immediately formulates a strategy for beating the game. Math guys. More craps at Fitzgerald's. Someone nails an 11 for me. Stranger next to me has $5 on it and we high five. I love craps. Wedding/Karyoke. Walk into the room.. Ploink gives me a commemorative chip. Only at BARGE. I sit with Martin. I figure I'll watch the wedding, maybe a song or two and bail. I ended up staying for about two hours. I took some notes. If get anyone's name wrong, I apologize. First song is Frank playing harmonica. Some blues number. Just freakin' awesome. Next is Pauline belting out a ballad. Betty and Un. "House of the Rising Sun" Howie. "How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You" James and Leslie. Some sappy love song. "Could I Have this Dance?" Tanya. "Fever" Man, this lady can sell a song! The Virgins. "Like a Virgin" Heh. Marlin, Andrew and Howler. "If I Had a Million Dollars" Mike (with help from Terrance). "Rapper's Delight" Very solid. Wedding Reverend Patti Beadles takes the stage. Frank plays the horse racing post parade tune on the harp. You know, the one a guy usually plays on a long bugle/horn about 10 minutes before the race. Nolan walks Amy down the aisle. The ceremony is really very nice and mostly serious. Ploink says "I do" Patti throws in "listen to bad beat stories" in the list of Amy's promises. Instead of "I do." Amy says "Hell yeah." Howie was the best man. I can't read my note about the the maid of honor. Looks like Sharon or Sheri. Probably Sharon. Post-Wedding Chuck sings "Teen Angel" a capella. That's without back-up music. Very solid. Barry. "Love is a many Splendored Thing" Claude. "Fire down Below" Ploink. "I will" David. Notes say something "Good" I think I went to *buy* a $3 beer. For shame! Rick. "Let's Stay Together" Heldar. "Desparado" Chic and Goldie. "I Got You Babe" David Croson. "Lion Sleeps Tonight" Great falsetto! Asya. "Hanky Panky" Gavin, Goldie, Nolan, Un. "Teach Your Children Well" Ben Gamble. "Big 10 Inch" Aerosmith. Size of a record. Wink. ADB crew. "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" Patti. "Great Balls of Fire" Nolan. "Freefalling" Around here, James pays Patti $30 to spank his lovely wife Leslie. I asked permission to put this in the report. James said I could if I mentioned Leslie's strong finish in the TOC tourney. 6th place, I believe. Way to go Leslie. Mike and Tanya. "Baby Got Back" Absolutely the highlight of the show for me. Tanya can shake it, baby! And Mike was great. Kenny and Action Bob. "Sweet Caroline" Ploink. Some song. I was fading at this point and left for a quick $1 double cheeseburger before bed. Sandi and Kris made it back to the room at 3:00 a.m. They saw "La Reve" at the Wynn and had been zipping around the strip all day. Saturday, August 19th. --------------------- Breakfast at McDonanld's. David and Caryl pick me up at the Plaza Time for the BARGE no-limit event. Paul to my left is a catching cards. AA 3 times, KK and QQ in the first hour. He could have been the chip leader in the tournament if not for a guy jamming a low spade draw and hitting the river. I have Cheezer the Mouse at the table. A nice lady to my left (Barbara?) has a small white rat. Cute. At some point, Christi comes to our table. She asks if I am Gavin Smith. Is that a big compliment or insult? KK in SB. Folded to me. Raise and win BB. Woo hoo. I raise with AK. Seth calls 100 all-in. David Huberman puts out 100 thinking that he is calling Seth. His options now are to fold and give up the 100 or call 100 more. He folds. Cool. Seth has Q3s. Flop nothing. Turn 2nd diamond River Seth makes a flush. 300 in the pot. No biggie. AQs. Seth jams. I call. He has 66. Coin flip. He wins. ATo. I jam for 1500. Josh calls. AKs. "You're way ahead." Flop all hearts. I have the Ah. Turn Q. I don't think I'm going to hit the flush, but I'm thinking 10. River 10. Gross!! Frickin' rigged site! Josh is crippled and goed out soon after. Sorry man. QQ. Someone jams for 700 ahead of me. I re-jam. He has A9! Cool. Flop A-K-K. Arrghhhh. QQ. Loose player raises. David Huberman jams for 1700. I have 2400 and re-jam. Other guy folds. I figured David was trying to isolate and I should be ahead. He has AT. Good. Flop 7-7-7. Gives him 4 outs instead of 3. Turn A. I recoil out of my seat. Sheesh. AJ. Get all-in in a 4-way pot. I'm drawing way live, but Christi's 88 rivers a set to seal the deal. I forgot to bring a bust-out gift. I tell her I'll mail it to her. She says that's too much trouble. I tell her that I'll bring it next year. We have a deal! Nearly forgot the Barbie waitress! There was this one cute, bubbly waitress with a high-pitched voice. She was as sweet and happy as could be. No way could it be an act. One BARGEr wondered if she had a pull string on her back. lol. I wander around cursing my luck. Fill out the survey. Sandi has gone out of the S.O. tournament too. She and Kris head off to shop or something. The lady that took 2nd in the S.O. tournament was Hack's mother. I believe she was 74. Way to go! Lynne Higgs won both S.O. tournaments this year. Okay Lynne. Time to come play with the big kids next year. Ah! Time for pinball. Tim Showalter leads nine of us to the Pinball Museum. Many games that I played 30 and 20 years ago. Lot of fun. I also got the high score of the day on the video games Space Invaders and Asteroids. Banquet. No doubt about it, that was the best $10 banquet in history. Sandi and Kris got their eye make-up done at Nordstrom and both looked extra beautiful. We sat with Rich, Bob, Pauline, Eric, Denea' (like Rene with a D), Michael and Connie. Food was pretty good. Phil Gordon was funny as hell ragging on himself. J8. "Quite possibly the most powerful hand in hold'em." Somewhere Quick is smiling. A nice presentation by Nolan of the Ace-Queen to Ploink (The Ace) and Amy (The Queen). Amy was clutching that plaque all night. Another well deserved ovation for Peter and Chuck. We take lots of photos afterwards. For some reason, guys are more excited about taking pictures with Sandi and Kristina than with me. Get shots of Bill's bling bling (the WSOP bracelets). ---- On the way back to the poker room, I find a Phantom of the Opera pin on the floor. I give it to Sandi. She is happy. And more happy since I learned that it was not available for purchase. Watch Mordecai Schwartz take down the championship! Way to go! He was thrilled to win it as he ran into is rooting section for hugs. I shook his hand. Don Perry, I still owe you one. I get into a 3-6 mixed game. Rick Bevan and Frank are to my right. Rick asks where the mouse is. I dig into my pocket. There he is! Game on. Rick is working on a massive chip castle. Maybe 800 chips. I win a couple of pots and get to work on a structure. Just 200 chips with GamboMouse perched on top. 4 or 5 people come buy to take pictures of our structures. Rick's was far more impressive and he won the contest. Grizz gave me a CD of Chris Whitley. Thanks! Around 1:00 a.m., my structure falls down onto the table. I scoop the big pile of chips together. Maybe 10 minutes later, Rick's structure comes crashing down. Huge pile of chips. Someone took a picture before 3 of us took about 5 minutes to rack it up. Thank goodness both didn't fall at the same time! Kenny starts playing blind and wins a couple of huge pots. I knew I was in trouble when I find AA in the SB and it comes to me at 4 bets cold. I manage to squeak out with a $20 win despite getting rivered on that hand. Oh well. Anything better than a $100 loss with all the tipping on Saturday night is a big win. Somehow, one of my BARGE die (half a pair of dice) has gone missing. I'm a little bummed about that, but thrilled when Peter finds it! Yay! While other people loved the Venetian, I prefer downtown. You just can't get as crazy/silly on the strip. Last year we were throwing chips all over the place and there was a lot of interaction between the different tables. This year seemed much more sedate. Still a lot of fun on Saturday night, just not as crazy fun as years past. Sandi, Kris and I play Fox and Hound and Tabasco slots. Drive back to the Plaza, McDonald's, Sleep. Sunday, August 20th ------------------- Bunch of Big Shrimp cocktails. Kristina gets carded for the first and only time all trip while sitting at the deli. Go figure. Last BARGEr sighted is Michael Maurer. He's picking up a free deck of cards at the Golden Gate. 1c Wheel of Fortune slots. Just as much fun as the 25c slots and we lose less than $6 instead of the $30 or $40 we would have lost on the quarter machines. Of we go on I-15 North to Hoover Dam. WRONG!! I figure out after about 15 minutes that I'm driving to Salt Lake City instead of Phoenix. Idiot! Hoover Dam. Hot! Pretty cool sightseeing. It's Hot. Like 104 degrees. We take too many pictures. I'm ready to murder Sandi and Kris as they insist that I take more pictures of them at the state line. Did I mention it was HOT!?? Mexican food at the Cantina at the Tuscany. Few more slots. 9:30 p.m. Okay, 530 mile drive ahead of us. Sandi conks out. I make it to the 46/I-5 interchange. 300? miles. Nap time. Sandi gets us to 152. 100 miles or so. I take it the rest of the way. Get home at 6:00 a.m. Yay. craps: won big 6 wheel: won blackjack: did not play live poker: won slots: lost tournies: lost, but won a warm-up online for +$230. roshambo: did not play. I had a terrific time at BARGE 2006. I was worried that the tournaments wouldn't go. They did. I was worried that we would be too spread out. We weren't. I look forward to BARGE all year long and somehow it always lives up to the hype. It's like soylent green. It's the people. Geez, even Fich seemed to be in a chipper mood this year. I think we need to have a weight-loss contest in 2007. Please, someone organize it. All you people who missed BARGE... don't miss 2007. Quit your job, disown your relatives. Do whatever it takes. Don't miss BARGE. Thanks to Chuck and Peter for all of their efforts. Big thanks to the Plaza^H^H^H^H^HCaesers^H^H^H^H^H^H^HPalms^H^H^H^H^H Venetian for having us and doing a very good job on such short notice. Thanks also to Patrick, Fich, Rafn, Warren and all the other people that helped out. Sorry if I left out some names. Also have to thank the mystery people that ponied up the cash to save BARGE 2006. Thank you so much! Can I sign up for BARGE 2007 now? Ken Kubey kubey@engr.sgi.com (650) 933-3536