A Virgin in Las Vegas
	or
A Fish out at BARGE
	or
How to Attend BARGE
for only $75/day

By Jeff Okamoto

Let me start off by saying that I am still a poker novice.  I have only
played in card rooms since July of 1999, and although I attended TARGET
2000, this is my first BARGE.

I'm not sure what to expect.  I had a lot of fun at TARGET, although I
mostly talked with the NorCal folks I see at the local rooms.  I
actually did more gambling away from the poker table than at it.  And I
hit my first royal flush on a Deuces Wild video poker machine.

I sign up for all the tournaments and events.  I join a CHORSE team, one
of three that the Virgin Vanguard would eventually field.  I buy more
books and practice as much as I can.

I get a reservation at Binion's and a flight out of San Jose on
Southwest.  I bring as many leftover funbooks and coupons as are still
valid.  I'm definitely a low-roller, coupon junkie, a real Frugal
Gambler.  I hope that however much I lose at the poker table, I can make
up in coupon wins.

Wednesday, August 2nd

After getting a flat tire in the morning, I arrive at SJC with time to
spare.  The flight is delayed, but I get seat card #5.  "Half a Presto!"
I think.

QB is behind me, and he introduces me to Michael Maurer and Connie
Kellers.  Later, Mike Chow joins us at our table in the restaurant.  As
we board the airplane, QB looks for a set of facing seats, because Patri
is also on our flight.  He tells us his r00ling story about his Calcutta
performance.

One of the flight attendants is a friend of Connie.  She brings us a
large bag filled with bags of peanuts.  I take a bunch of them and
decide to use them as my bust-out gifts.

We pass the time playing hold-em and Omaha/8 with imaginary units.  We
can see lightning flashes off in the distance, and as we descend, we get
bumped around a bit.  The lady in the seat next to me is a giant white
knuckle.

Mike has his own rental car, and since there are so many of us on the
flight, we decide to hire a limo.  QB finds the friend who was going to
give the two of us a ride and tells him of our change in plans.  We run
into Foldem and one other person.  The seven of us jam into a stretch
limo and ride to Binion's.  Both QB and Patri leave their luggage in my
room (apparently not getting a room the first night is a QB tradition).

I check-in, get my BARGE badge and greet a few players.  Patri
immediately jumps into the 15-30 game.  I unpack and QB and I get a
sandwich at the snack bar.  Patri joins us after dropping a rack of red.

Because it's hot and late, I only do my low-rolling in Downtown.  I end
up with a profit, drop a tiny bit at the 1-4-4-8 game, then hit the
sack.  Hmm, the shower drains REALLY slowly.

Thursday, August 3rd

I eat breakfast and after QB and Patri take their morning shower, I call
engineering to get the drain fixed.  Then it's off to the Virgin
Meeting.  I buy my Virgin Vanguard T-shirt, get my hat from Don Perry,
join in the Virgin-ADB-BBB last-longer bet for the NLHE tourney, and
meet my CHORSE teammates.  I also place my NorCal-SoCal last-longer bet
with Max.

There's time to do some more low-rolling before the History of Poker
tournament, so off I go.  This also includes some Deuces Wild video
poker at the California (I'm trying to establish some play there to get
room offers).

I was very impressed with Binion's setting up four tables away from the
main poker room.  It was right next to a bank of slot tourney machines,
but I'll take the slot noise over the cigarette smoke any day.

I forget to record any of the hands I got in the HoP tourney, but I
don't last very long.  I go back to my room in preparation for a trip
down the Strip, ultimately to end at the Mirage for the buffet.

Hmm, there's a note on the toilet saying please don't use the shower, we
need to do some more work.  Hmm, there's the message light.  "Please
call the front desk".  The front desk tells me they need me to change
rooms.  Apparently the engineer broke the snake in the drain, so they
have to go in from the room below to get it.

Grumbling a bit, I re-pack, get a bellhop to move my stuff (and QB's and
Patri's) to the new room.  Then I go down to the front desk and ask to
see the manager on duty.  I mention this was an inconvenience to me and
she says she'll comp one night for me.  I feel better.  I tell QB and
Patri about my room change, leave one key behind for them, and head out.

Now I'm a bit behind my schedule, so I cab over to the Hilton and do the
Star Trek ride again.  As corny and cool as ever.  I still can't figure
out how they do that first switcheroo.  I hope the Hilton's new owners
won't close it down soon.

I coupon my way through the Sahara, Riviera, Circus Circus, and Frontier
(all in what I later learn was 113 degree heat) then with little time
left, I cab to the Mirage.  I find the poker room, see a few friends in
the satellite for the night's $120+100 NLHE tourney, get oriented
towards the buffet, lose my way, then find the crowd outside the buffet
area.

I normally don't eat huge meals; I eat lots of little ones.  My stomach
was also a bit upset, as it usually does when traveling.  But the buffet
at the Mirage was quite nice!  Excellent prime rib, handsful of already-
peeled shrimp, vegetables perfectly steamed, and a "bread pudding"
almost as good as the Golden Nugget's.  I end up stuffing myself.  It
tastes even better when I hear NorCal won the first last-longer bet,
taking all three top spots.

During dinner I talk coupons with Andy Latto.  I also overhear a remark
about the absurdity of thinking of this evening's $120+100 tourney as
practice for the upcoming $50 BARGE tourney.

I decide that it would be silly to spend $220 for practice, so I play a
bit of 3-6 at the Mirage room.  After about an hour, I leave a little
bit down, then go to coupon at the Excalibur.  Ahh, coupons are evil
things when you lose.

I don't have too much time to make it back for the Craps Tour, but I
don't want to cab again.  I wait for a 302 Strip Express, and it whisks
me back to the Downtown Transit Center in 15 minutes.

The craps tour is a lot of fun, with a HUGE amount of people.  We take
over a table at the El Cortez and let's just say I won't be rushing to
go back to it any time soon.  For some reason, we don't go into the Gold
Spike, and instead make our way to the Lady Luck.  There we convince one
of the pit bosses to turn an empty $5 table into a r00ling full $2
table.

I leave shortly thereafter for some more video poker play at the
California.

Friday, August 4th

After breakfast in the buffet, I head to the chip-trading session.  I
purchase chip sets from previous BARGE's, and trade away a chip from one
of the card rooms in the Monterey area.

After a little more video poker at the California, I take my seat in the
Tournament of Champions-style tourney at table 9, seat 6.  Patti is in
seat 2, Patrick Milligan in seat 4, mph is on my right in seat 5, gerdog
is in seat 7, Scottro in seat 8, and NewJane in seat 9.

I suck at Omaha/8.  I have an Ac5c8cQs (don't remember my position) and
see a flop of 234 rainbow.  DING!  The turn is paint, the river is a 7.
NewJane also has an A5, and Patti has a 56, so I get quartered.

The best quote of the tourney belongs to Melody, the shift supervisor:
"I need cocktails *all over* this poker room!"

Somehow I manage to make it to the break with exactly 1500.  On the next
hold-em round, I get pocket 4's and lose to Patti's KQc that flopped a
K.

I make another quick North Strip coupon run (today it's only 112
degrees), then come back in time to record the final table.  A Virgin
(Charles Natkins) makes the final table and ends up 7th.  Virgin power!
I'll post hand records, and write an article.  We'll see if I can
compare to Mike Paulle and Andy Glazer.

The final table ran into the symposium, so by the time I get there, most
of the food is gone.  I pick up enough crudite and cheese to last me a
while, then mill around a bit.  There are enough people and syndicates
willing to bid more than I want to spend, so the calcutta really doesn't
hold any interest for me.  Then I find out about and buy a share in the
Virgin Syndicate, so now I have some horses to root for.

I watch the first NLHE freezeout, then join in the second.  Melissa
Hayden, Scott Byron, Patri, Zorak, mph, Max Roman, James Kittock, and
me.  I try to stay out of trouble, but I manage to bust Patri when I
have a KQ that pairs a Q-high flop and his draw doesn't come.  DING!
The calcutta ends and we decide to just keep the chips we have.  I have
a $17 profit.  Sweet!

The CHORSE tourney was a blast!  I chose the Razz leg, and I don't think
I will ever sit at such a table again:  Seat 1, Quick.  Seat 2, Andy
Bloch.  Seat 3, Q.  Seat 4, yours truly.  Seat 5, Ed Hill.  Seat 6,
Nolan Dalla.  Seat 7, Patti Beadles.  Seat 8, Brian Wohletz.  Seat 9,
Ploink.

In round 1, I get no cards and end up down 16.  I don't remember how Lee
Crocker did, but Max went down a bit and we tried to keep him calm.
Round 2 started down 75 (325), and this round I did better.  I won one
pot with an 8-6 (I think) and ended the round up 42.  If I remember
rightly, this round Lee sucked out on the river and made kings full
against a qualifying four-straight.

At the start of round 3, we were at a combined 985 and showing a modest
profit from our entry fees.  I did well again, adding 64 to our stack.
I think it was this round that Max did his "I'm the smartest man in the
world!"  which Tiger123 has recounted.

Going into round 4 we had a total of about 1350.  I caught cold cards,
and ended up down 57.  Nevertheless, we finished at 1143, placing us 5th
overall and 1st among the Virgins.

It's now very late, so I go to bed.

Saturday, August 5th

Because the NL tourney starts so early, I don't have time for any
couponing or even for breakfast.  I grab a doughnut and juice at the
snack bar and find my seat.  I start out at table 17, to the right of
Foldem, but quickly get moved to table 9, where I was yesterday.  And
who should be there to welcome me?  Patti, of course.  Even worse, she's
in my big blind.  Also at my table is Lee Crocker and an old friend Adam
Bachrach.

A few hands of note, all in the 50/100 round.  I'm 2 off the button and
it's folded around to me.  I have ATo and make a standard raise.  It's a
4-way pot, including Patti.  We check down the QTxKK board and my AT
beats Patti's T9.  Adam later reproached me for playing this.  Other
opinions?

At seat 1, Jim Kullman is knocked out when his AA runs into a KJ that
gets two running kings.

One off the button, Adam makes it 400 to go.  I'm in the SB and see KQc.
I call and flop is AKx.  I think for a while then check.  Adam bets
another 400 and I fold.  Should I have led out?

Our table breaks and I move to table 4.  Lee comes with me, and we sit
down with JP, Mike Maurer, Scottro, DP (who has a HUGE stack), Chic (who
placed 7th in Friday's tourney), and my calcutta partner Darrell Lewis.

A little while later, applause starts to swell.  Jesus has been knocked
out!  I've lasted longer than the World's Champion!

But not by much.  Lee is UTG and raises all-in for 1275.  I have pocket
tens.  I can cover him, but I'll have only about 800 left.  I call and
he shows aces.  Scottro says he had the remaining tens, and Lee's aces
match my suits, so I'm pretty much drawing dead.  The board actually
four-straights, but the river doesn't complete it, and I'm in serious
trouble.

I survive to the break with 800 left.  With the blinds now at 200/400, I
shove all-in with an AJh, but Scottro has pocket queens, and I don't
catch an ace.

I go do some more couponing and come back to record the final table.
Articles coming Real Soon Now.  Patti outlasts Walter Hunt for a NorCal
sweep, and Scottro outlasts Patti for the Virgins to outlast the ADB's.
However, Scottro goes out in 4th and John Reed wins the NL last-longer
for the BBB's.

The banquet is a lot of fun.  I collect my NorCal/SoCal winnings from
Max, and help Scottro distribute the Virgin last-longer money (we only
lost $1.25).  ADV Beth hands out the remnants of our Virgin Syndicate
shares and is very disappointed.  Don't worry, Beth, we'll do better
next year!

I enjoyed Jesus's talk, and will try to follow his advice.  Scottro and
I discuss video poker.

The main and must-move Chowaha games start up and I take a few pictures
of the budding castles.  The lists for the other games are very long, so
I go to the California for more VP.  Hit four deuces for a 1000-quarter
payout.  I have to wait for them to drop, bucket them, then lug them
over to the cage, but I'd happily do this every day!

I come back and take a seat in the must-move Chowaha game.  After about
a half-hour, I give up my seat and walk around a bit, taking more
pictures.  A security guard says I can't take pictures, so I have to go
to the desk and summon a casino executive to get permission.  Annoying,
but the guard is only doing his job.  I'm about to take a picture of
Walter's unusual castle, but my camera battery is dead!  D'oh!

Sunday, August 6th

Since my flight doesn't leave until the afternoon, I sit down at a 1-5
stud, then a 1-4-4-8 table with the NL Champion, Jeff.  I lose a bit,
then decide to play some more video poker.  I get four deuces again!
Hey, this video poker is easy !-) I'm doing much better at it than at
real poker!

I take a taxi to the airport and discover that I've booked a return
flight that stops in San Diego rather than a direct flight to San Jose.
Sigh.  This time I get boarding card 21.  Cool!

On the way home, I calculate my total and discover that the two
four-deuces and my couponing help reduce my expenses to around $300 (the
free room night helped too).

Final Remarks

I had a great time and I'll definitely be back next year!  Thanks to
Chuck and Mike for organizing everything and making it run smoothly.
To all the new friends I've made, thanks, and I'll see you next year!

My only negative is the ubiquitous cigarette smoke (I'm now suffering
from a bit of bronchitis).

My suggestions for next year include more "baby" games (no limit, pot
limit, and lowbah) and/or freezeouts, and asking for help from Binion's
to accomodate those of us who do not suffer cigarette smoke well.

Jeff