From: Don Perry To: list barge Subject: [BARGE] AELARGE trip report (long little poker) Date: Mon, 24 Mar 2003 10:48:55 -0500 As usual LenG and I traveled down to AC together for ATLARGE. Len insists on driving simply because I am a gimp and can't get my right leg to the brake pedal as quickly as possible in years past. Not a gamb00ler, Len. He wants the "nuts" even for a simple car trip. Not wanting to listen to him whimper all the way down I let him drive, knowing that I would suffer in terror all the way because of his inveterate tailgating. As usual I could trim my nose hairs using the rear view mirror of the cars ahead of us, we were that f'ing close. I wore my "Ooops, I Crapped My Pants" brand adult diapers for the trip. The package said they were good for " Up to 225 pounds", so I knew I would be able to get away with only one diaper for the whole weekend ! A bargain, but a bit uncomfortable by the time I got home. We stopped at the White House and picked up a couple of Philly Cheese Steak Subs on the way to the Taj. Best food I ate all weekend. Len's first time there. If you don't know about the place make it a point to grab one the next time you are in AC, it's a must ! As always Len and I shared a room at the Taj. Len made the reservations and stepped to the check in desk to register with his credit card and as always I stood right behind him and told the girl behind the desk that I was really looking forward to the weekend because it was Len's turn to " be the girl" which always brings a welcoming smile and sets the tone for a weekend of mutual ball-breaking and laughs. Next stop was the elevator where I waited for the right moment in a silent and crowded elevator to ask Len just quietly enough for everyone to overhear , " did you remember the personal lubricant? " On to the poker room. It's been way too long since I've seen my 'arg friends and there's a bunch already playing. Baby Pl game starts up almost immediately and that is virtually the only game I play, almost non stop. all weekend, except for a few lonely forays to the BJ and roulette tables where I go of necessity to make back some of my lost income, (these games are more positive EV for me than poker). We are playing half HE and half Omaha and to my left is a "rounder" explaining to me how he uses the "snake" to make money playing BJ. Seems he starts at one end of the boardwalk and snakes through every casino for some BJ action, playing till he's ahead $200. then moving to the next casino. Asked why he moves after a $ 200.00 win, he says in all seriousness that he doesn't want to attract the attention of the pit bosses !! ( Walter Rulla take note !! ). The young rounder helps me out with my poker skills, kindly answering all my queries ( Omaha is the game where you get 4 cards down ? ) till the inevitable happens and Fich cleans him out in one biggish hand, bye bye rounder. Fortune smiles upon me however and Fich (a/k/a ADB Conduit) has an accident when a 3rd A the turn drops like a scud missile against his rolled up presto and he and Sander cough up about $ 600 to me. I play my usual tight and disciplined game till about 11:30 and I head for bed. A stop at a roulette wheel nets me another $ 600 or so after careful selection of numbers using the Doctrine of Maturing Chance ( a number which hasn't come up is more likely to come up) and some advice purchased from the TV psychic Miss Cleo shortly before her indictment. Ca-ching.....a g00d first day for this r00ler. Up at 8 AM for some breathing exercises (using a pack of Marlboro Lights) and a healthy breakfast ( donuts and insulin ) and it's downstairs for the NLHE tournament . We can skip over the tournament. They're all about luck !! Once the grueling 15 minutes I spent in the tournament are finished I head to a real game of skill ( BJ ) where I pick up $ 925.00. I take a nap. watch some war news and wander back to the poker room for some more baby PL. I am now in the groove and seem to fold hand after hand rarely looking at a flop. Despite this I drop about $ 1000.00 ( must have been the crushing blinds !! ) over the course of the day. Time for dinner. 2 knuckleheads ( Le nnie and Pizzaman) insist on going to Dynasty ( the " upscale" Chinese restaurant ). Great company, mediocre overpriced food. I WILL never again eat at a Chinese restaurant in any casino. $ 40 for a dinner I can get at the local takeout place for $9 at home. Back to the PL game, one set up just for the arg group. Thank you Taj !! Barry Kornspan, Raydon,LenG, Steve Carbonara, Big Al, Pizzaman, Russ Fox and a few others play a very tight game for hours and again I rarely get involved, losing quite a bit being blinded away, The only hand I do recall is one in which my J 10 suited fills up and I clean out Raydon, who, lets face it. is, a maniac who plays ANY two Cards ! I drop another $ 500 or so ( in blinds I guess) and I head back to roulette, buy in for $ 175 ands hit a zero with $20 on the 2nd spin for a 700 win and leave with a $ 680 profit. Off to bed. I sleep late ( a night filled with disturbing dreams involving Tammy from the poker room and a pair of handcuffs) and we leave at about 10 AM after saying our good-byes to the few we find in the poker room. I leave a PokerStars Jacket with Barry Kornspan to be returned to Steve Goldman, our organizer. Barry is asked to tell Steve that I found it hidden in Len's suitcase. Big Al and I were in the hospitality suite the eve before rummaging through the shirts and stuff generously provided by Pokerstars ( we both wear size XX-muscular) when Al opens a box with a medium jacket in it. Al said "I guess the jackets were the first thing to go". I grab the "last" jacket and say "heck, I'll give it to my daughter. I didn't know they were giving away JACKETS !" During the PL game that night I hear Raydon talking about the fact that someone has walked off with jackets meant to go to the tournament winners ( oops!). On the drive home we stop at a rest area on the Garden State Parkway and I buy a Danish pastry and a coffee and notice a very attractive brunette at the condiment bar putting " fixins" on a hot dog. In an attempt to strike up a conversation I asked her to hand me a couple of packets of mustard, which I am then forced to squeeze across the surface of my cherry Danish so she won't suspect my real motive for the request, taking several bites to further allay any suspicions. It is a long ride and queasy home. My deepest thanks to the Taj Mahal, Pokerstars and Steve Goldman for a great weekend at ATLARGE and to all the 'arger's present for a weekend of laughs. When does BARGE registration open ? _________________________________________ Thank you PokerStars and Paradise Poker for sponsoring BARGE 2002. Now soliciting sponsorship for BARGE 2003...if we can find a venue.